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“I'm allergic to pork, but not bacon or ham.” Well of course, Hayley, that makes perfect sense. Big Brother provided rich pickings in quotes this year, as the producers, unable to broadcast the customary debauchery, for once picked fairly diverse Housemates. Here are a few that no smorgasbord of 2007 quotes would be complete without:

“I'm not a stripper – I'm an exotic dancer.” — Jamie, talking in his sleep

“Billy, Joel, what a pair, just like Boo Boo and Yogi Bear.” — Embrace the Magic lyrics

“What did they say about punani? Is that an Indian dish?” — quip by Mike Goldman

“Is there a candle in your porridge?” — Harrison to Demet on her Birthday in The White Room

“It's weird missing someone that's next to you.” — Hayley to Andrew, during the pretence they are strangers

“Oh my god, they're cool!” — Aleisha, admiring Emma's fake boobs

“Dumped – on national television!” — TJ, to herself

“I AM NOT CRYING!” — Jamie, crying

“That's called ‘consoling’.” — Mike Goldman as a drunk Susannah kneels in front of Jamie in the toilet

“I might have to pee on your bum!” — Rebecca to Travis, who’s about to sit on an ice block

“D'you wanna use my sleeve? It's Ralph Lauren.” — Gretel to Andrew, crying at seeing Hayley on-screen

“Don't come that crying with me, mate!” — Michelle, having bullied Aleisha until she’s become distraught

“A wise man once told me that you shouldn't wrestle a pig, because the pig always wants to get muddy.” — Zoran, on Michelle

“50 years of Australian television and it's come to this – staring up a waiter from Melbourne's nose and playing a game called the Brainteaser! Whoever invented the television would be disgusted!” — Mike Goldman on Uplate

Yes, if John Logie Baird were alive today he’d be turning in his grave! But I should give some other quotes a sporting chance...

“The meek shall inherit the bench.” — Network 7 AFL commentator

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved...and you can't trust John Howard, 'cause he says one thing and does another.” — Anthony Mundine

“Not redheads...” — Maria Sharapova, when asked by Jim Courier what kind of guy she goes for

“...she ended up landing on Cox.” — commentator Eloise Southby-Halbish, Netball World Championships

OK, I admit it – that last one was a bit juvenile. Thank goodness for:

“Within minutes of arriving in Flaccid, Katie's found buried treasure.” — Tony Robinson, Time Team

“I propose a limitation to be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.” — Cheryl Crow on tackling climate change — yes, really

“And woo-hoo!” — Winelovers Warehouse ad

Yes, some lucky scriptwriter got paid for penning that classic line! But there were occasional words of wisdom in 07 too:

“A free society will necessarily produce things you don't like.” — Clive James

“...love is all.” — Ian McKellen

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” — Lindsay Lohan!

And I’ll leave the last word to the message in my Christmas cracker:

“There is nothing noble about being superior to some other man. The true nobility lies in being superior to your previous self.” — Hindu proverb