Category: sitestuff

July 19, 2004

Un-Australian Of The Year ©

ausculture.com has a problem with commitment. We’re a veritable hussy in a world of honourable and chaste websites. You see, we constantly commit to stuff and never follow through. It’s kinda like Britney swearing to stay virginal till marriage and then getting busy with Justin, Fred, and Kevin Federline. Also rather like her marriage, for that matter.

We promised you Law & Order Appreciation Week and promptly forgot about it. Patrick began his “ausculture me” project and abandoned it within days. I declared I’d start writing a fortnightly segment about the Google searches people have done to arrive at ausculture.com, and immediately jumped ship. So hopefully, dear reader, you have learned to take most things we say with a “grain of salt”. Oooh, how Paul from Big Brother!

In the not-too-distant future, ausculture.com will be launching a very, very special project. “Special?” I hear you ask “you mean, even more so than the Big Brother & Australian Idol Blogfests?” Without a doubt. “What about Dolly Parton Appreciation Week?” Yup, more special than that.

Soon, you sexy bastards, we’ll be launching our Un-Australian Of The Year © competition! And there’ll be a special mini-site! Could you ask for any more? Yes, you could - you could ask to be involved, and involved you shall be. You will be asked to vote during the weekly rounds, building up to a frenzied voting crescendo during the Un-Australian Of The Year © final poll.

But before all that, we want your nominations for Un-Australian Of The Year ©. Please do not send us your suggestions by commenting below. Instead, email unaustralian@ausculture.com and if you feel like it, feel free to add your reasons why. You can vote more than once, and your vote will count. Unlike Big Brother, then.

Go on - unlike Australian Of The Year, it probably won’t go to some cricketer John Howard wants to touch inappropriately.

Faster comments

Comment posting was getting unbearably slow.

I’ll spare everyone the technical details but there should be some dramatic reductions in the time it takes to post a comment.

Enjoy.

July 15, 2004

ausculture.com In The Telegraph

I was rather amused when going through my emails tonight (after a good few days away, so those who emailed me - sorry about the delay in replying) when I opened something from Patrick. He had discovered that the Daily Telegraph quoted little old ausculture.com in an opinion piece about the Franscesca Willis ‘scandal’. But guess who they attributed the quote to?

“one website…” ? For God’s sake, the Graxon campaign is a schmozzle, Channel Ten’s Up Late show snubbed our ridiculous bingo - finally, we get mentioned in the press and they can’t even be bothered using our name? ausculture.com! It’s not that hard, Caroline Regidor! Ooooh, see? Even I can use names! Bless. Maybe next time, eh?

To read the article yourself, head here.

July 3, 2004

Comments alive

As a quick note to everyone, the commenting system has been altered slightly. Let me know if there are any problems.

July 2, 2004

Australian Idol Blogfest - Arrived!

We promised, and we’ve delivered something not worth getting excited about - yet. But we’ve got our fingers and toes crossed that our brand spanking new Australian Idol Blogfest will be worth the trouble of writing, and in your case - the trouble of reading.

It’s fairly bare at the moment (other than biographies on the judges) but gives us a few weeks and it’ll be pumping. Promise.

June 28, 2004

Australian Idol 2004

It’s only a matter of weeks till the new season of Australian Idol, and ausculture.com are feeling mixed emotions. We’re excited, sceptical, hopeful, worried and thrilled about the new season of the show, and the anticipation of finding out whether 2004 will be a bung or beaut year for Australian manufactured pop is almost killing us.

So why am I telling you this? I’m giving you advanced warning of a new structure being added to our site. That’s right - an Australian Idol 2004 blog, in the vein of our Big Brother Blogfest!

Here’s hoping the show supplies us with enough material to constitute a blog. Oh, and that the stress of running a Big Brother AND Australian Idol blog simultaneously doesn’t kill us.

PS: Patrick - you’d better change that ausculture.com banner to read 60% more reality television!

June 23, 2004

Our Messageboard AKA Home Of The Tumbleweeds

Did you know we have a messageboard? No? Well, we do. Truth is though, we forgot about it right after creating it which obviously has led to it being an emaciated pile of shite. However, I noticed a few places on the net linking to it, I have no idea why, so I thought I should check it out again.

After finally remembering my password, I managed to get in and make a post stating that we’re shit (but we know it) and asking if there is a market for an ausculture.com messageboard. After hitting “Post” I was greatly amused to see that ‘shit’ had been changed to ‘nuts’ in my post. The fuckers!

Being the admin thingy, I delved into see what default censorship ProBoards had and was chuckling heartily once I found the following list in my ‘default’ censored words list.

Charming!

In any case, I ask you - is there any use in an ausculture.com messageboard? Should we bother fixing up the one we have? Or should we let you guys continue your shenanigans at other proper boards like Popjustice, Lowculture and Quixotic?

PS: Obviously the censored word replacements used asterixes instead of ‘-’ but this blog thingo seems to be set to ensure an asterix results in italics (or is it bold?) being shown, rather than just an asterix. Can we have asterixes back, Patrick? Please? I promise I’ll be good!

June 10, 2004

Clue Explanations

Ahem. Let’s begin, shall we?

Clue one was taken from a painting called “The Scream” by Edvard Munch. How does this relate to Law & Order? Well, the painter was called Munch, and Richard Belzer plays Detective Munch on Law & Order: SVU!

Clue number two was a delightful midi file of a mid-nineties pop hit. The song? Runaway. The artist? The Real McCoy. So what does that have to do with Law & Order? Why, the world’s best ADA on Law & Order just happens to be a Mr Jack McCoy!

Clue number three was this picture which was sent exclusively by email. As you can see, it’s of a wolf howling at the moon. Connection? Law & Order was created and is produced by Dick Wolf!

Clue four was a picture of someone in handcuffs. Doesn’t take a genius to work out how this might be related to Law & Order now, does it? Course not!

The alluring clue number five was a picture of Jayne Mansfield. Related to Law & Order how? Well, she’s the mother of Law & Order: SVU’s Mariska Hargitay (who plays Det. Olivia Benson).

My original rather crap unofficial clue number six was the following statement. If Tom Jones was involved in a musical, and that musical sounded a little like a soft drink - how would something about that musical be related to our topic of appreciation?

Well. I buggered that up royally. A Mr Tom Jones cowrote Broadway’s longest running musical The Fantasticks, which starred a certain Jerry Orbach as El Gallo. Jerry has recently quit his beloved Law & Order character Lenny Briscoe to pursue other stuff. Boo!

The official clue number six was a picture of three productions - Dirty Dancing, New Jack City & Angel. Dirty Dancing starred Jerry Orbach as Baby’s dad, New Jack City starred Ice T who plays Det. Fin Tutuola on Law & Order: SVU, and Angel originally starred Elizabeth Rohm as Kate, and she now appears on Law & Order as an ADA.

Phew!

It’s Been Solved!

Congratulations to Crystal for being the most persistant and craftiest clue hound out of all the ausculture.com readers. She has guessed correctly that next week’s topic of appreciation is in fact Law & Order! Which one? All of ‘em!

Now I know Law & Order ain’t everyone’s cup of tea - hell, it’s not even Australian. But it is one of my favouritest television shows in the world and I want to share it with you all, because I love you in a platonic way. So I hope you tolerate me during the next week like you did with Dolly week, and you too will learn to love the ins and outs of Law & Order.

And Now A Sixth Clue

The other one I gave obviously doesn’t count since it was so bloody confusing! Ahem. Apologies. Back to simple pictures then, eh? Okay. Personally I think Clue #6 is a huge giveaway but I’m feeling generous - also, I happen to know the answer so it’s easier for me to see the links. Someone connected to each of the things below is also related to Appreciation Week. That is all.

Is It Time For A Fifth Clue? Yes It Is!

And it’s also time for another purdy picture. Who is the person below? How are they related to the topic of appreciation? Oooh. Another clue. I’m just too good. I expect someone to decipher all the clues and work out the answer by Friday night, you know - and if I have to make the clues easier, then so be it!

June 9, 2004

Fourth Clue For Next Week’s Topic Of Appreciation

Hmmm. I’m certainly going for visual clues this week, aren’t I? Okay, here’s clue number four - and personally, I reckon it’s a giveaway!

Is it something kinky? Who knows? Well, I do obviously, but you need to work it out! Remember that Google is your best friend when it comes to making your decision. Also, it’s worth making a list of all the things that spring to mind for each clue, and then seeing if it is related to anything that sprang to mind for the other clues. If that makes sense.

June 7, 2004

Second Clue For Next Week’s Topic Of Appreciation

You know what we don’t see enough of in this fast paced, mp3 savvy world? Good old fashioned midi files. So we at ausculture.com are going to flash back a decade and offer up this gem as a clue. You’ll need to have a decent knowledge of rubbish pop from the nineties, and pinpoint exactly what the clue is before adding it to the jigsaw that is Appreciation Week. Expand your mind, kittens, and pump up the volume!

Download Clue #2

PS: The next clue (#3 in a collectable series) will be coming exclusively via email. If you would like the clue, email jess@ausculture.com and lemme know you want in on the next clue delivery (ETA: midday tomorrow).

First Clue For Next Week’s Topic Of Appreciation

Does this clue make any sense to you? Perhaps not but by Sunday, combined with clues to come, it just might do the trick! We’ll see…

June 6, 2004

Letterman’s Dolly Top Ten List #2

Dolly actually read this one out on The Late Show back in 1995…

Dolly Parton Pet Peeves

1. Accountants who don’t understand how much it costs to make me look this cheap.
   
2. Trying to play guitar with three-inch fingernails.
   
3. When the country declares my hair a fire hazard.
   
4. Confused Dali Lama constantly asking for theme park royalties.
   
5. You can’t get a wig repaired because Letterman’s got some kind of hairpiece crisis.
   
6. Rhinestone rash.
   
7. Whenever he visits my gift shop, Garth Brooks tries to shoplift stuff under that big hat.
   
8. Smartass emcees who introduce you by saying: “And now here they are, Dolly Parton!”
   
9. Whenever the Super Bowl is over, winner never says, “I’m goin’ to Dollywood!”
   
10. Nobody notices I’ve got a great ass, too!