Category: naturestuff
July 23, 2004
Macaque Attaque - It’s Not Long Now
As Patrick mentioned yesterday, a Macaque monkey in an Israeli zoo began walking like a human after suffering a near-death experience. This, dear readers, is not a good sign.
First of all, the documentary Planet Of The Apes has proven what a hazard primates can be when they become too similar to humans… personally I don’t particularly want to be enslaved by our hairy brethren and I’m rather confident I’m not alone.
Most of all though, I’m frightened because the delightful-and-yet-Nostradamus-like Ol Shirley predicted this would happen in his hit song Macaque Attaque. Think I’m being overly dramatic? Read the following lyrics from the tune.
Once, a long time ago
Before the rain, before the snow
Here’s a tale that you don’t know
A monkey plan began to grow.
Twice, they hurried off to war
They destroyed the dinosaur
And now, macaque is back again
This … could be the end for men.
“And you will know my name is the lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.”
They built a big fortress in the heart of Gibraltar
They’ll never ever stop hunting you, you you
They’ll find you.
“I don’t remember asking you a god damned thing.”
From Uraguay to Uluru,
If you don’t watch out they’ll wee on you
Monkey see, monkey do
It’s an evolution revolution coming for you
You , you, you, yeah, you, you, oh, you, you.
They march and they sail from the Rock of Gibraltar
They climb down the chimneys and what can you do
What can you do?
Evolution revolution? You’re not wrong, Mr Shirley.
To download this brilliant if not highly depressing song, right click and save this. I can only hope the mainstream media (hi, Telegraph!) picks up on this story and pushes Ollie’s Macaque-related concerns to the front page of the papers. After all, I can’t handle anymore bloody Liverpool shopping centre exposés.
Posted by Jess at 9:51 AM Link | TrackBack (0)July 22, 2004
Brain damaged monkey walks like human
After suffering brain damage, a monkey named Natasha in an Israeli zoo has started walking upright. (Full story at news.com.au)
This adds further weight to claims made by scientists that human evolution was head-injury induced - after a similiar incident involving a brain damaged primate singing and dancing to the music of Cold Chisel.
In other news, Cosima releases her first single When The War Is Over on the 9th of August.
Posted by Patrick at 3:04 PM Link | TrackBack (0)