Category: bb04
July 29, 2004
Big Brother 4 statistics
Jess mentioned that the SMH made an article out of some mindless statistics. Their statistics were quite simply lame so I’ve gone to the “trouble” to work out some more interesting ones.
Trevor got $100 000 for each finger he has. On the other hand, Ryan got a car and showed one finger to Bree. We can conclude that Trevor’s fingers are more valuable.
On average, one lonely teenage boy masturbated to pictures found on the internet of a female BB04 housemate every nine minutes throughout the series up until “Francesca Willis-gate” when those same teenage boys were busy looking at other stuff.
Throughout the entire series, one person almost masturbated to pictures of Gretel. We know because our logs indicate that they searched this very site for pictures of “Gretel Kileen Nude.” ausculture.com thinks that if any pictures of Gretel unclothed were found on the internet - the person responsible for posting them would be guilty of war crimes.
Have you ever thought “if only I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say Fer-ryzie?” Well, that’s how much money BB04 dished out, including the one million dollars, the cars and the uplate giveaways.
Since his eviction from the house, Merlin has freed exactly 0 refugees.
Various Post-Finale Stuff
As expected straight after a Big Brother finale, there is tonnes of stuff to read about the eviction, the housemate’s thoughts, various opinion pieces passing judgement on anyone involved, speculation on Big Brother’s future and of course webchat-mania on the official site. Here’s some articles we’ve stumbled across on various news sites that you’ve probably read but we thought we’d stick ‘em online regardless. Meanwhile, I’ll scatter a few photos from the eviction party nicked straight from news.com.au
The Daily Telegraph report that Big Brother’s Monday night eviction grabbed nearly three million viewers - half a million more than last year’s eviction. There’s also a wrap up of the eviction party that’s worth reading - I had a giggle at Mike Goldman being an attention whore, but that may be because I’m one of the few people out there (it seems) who thinks he’s a bit of a tool (and I promise, this has nothing to do with our Big Brother Bingo! snub… grrrrr…)
The Herald Sun discuss with Trevor his win on Monday night, the planning behind his proposal, and his future career prospects (Bad Boys III?). They also chat to Paul about his political ambitions (ie: he doesn’t particularly have any) while Fryzie tells The Eye Gretel’s impersonation of Greg Evans on Sunday night’s eviction show was a “little bit disappointing”. He also announces he’d love to work on television (surprise!), either on The Footy Show or Channel V. Please be The Footy Show and not my favourite music channel… no offence, Fryzie.
smh.com.au do some basic mathematics and turn it into an article. $1,000,000 (the prize money) divided by 86 (the number of days in the house) means Trev earned $11,627 a day in the house! Gasp, sigh, envy etc.
Bree’s stunned that people thought she was anything less than thrilled when Trevor won Big Brother. Says the runner up “I think they were watching the wrong show — I was ecstatic…” I believe you, Breezy. Bree also referred to the new eviction show formula, which saw her and Trevor arriving on the eviction stage together. “It was much better than leaving someone in the house by themselves for half an hour - boring!” Ahhh yes, but remember darling - killing the suspense, while interesting for you and Trev, made things absolutely unbearably anti-climatic for the rest of us who matter - the viewers.
Will Big Brother be back for a fifth season, and will it be on Channel Ten? After all, the network’s contract with Southern Star Endemol expired on Monday meaning Ten will need to successfully bid for the show all over again. Denis Spencer, head of Southern Star Endemol, gave Ten a pat on the back for their work on Big Brother. He stated “”They’ve looked after it and really massaged it and promoted it and been right behind it over these four series.” Bloody hell, could he sound anymore sexual?
Kathy McCabe ponders the change in Gretel this season. Quite rightly, she says “Long-time viewers have been infuriated by her evolution from quick-quipping big sister in season one to casually caustic school ma’am in season four. Welcoming hugs and pats to calm evictees’ nerves have gone, now it’s a fastidious commitment to the clipboard script and plugs for sponsors.” Ooooh, I’ve been calling Gretel a school marm too! Sure, we spell “marm\ma’am” differently but hey - the meaning is the same. Gretel, cheer up!
Finally, should you feel partial to more reading, check out the official chat’s websites with Paul, Ryan, Bree and Trevor. Some delightful one liners in there (hello, Paul & Bree!)
Posted by Jess at 11:05 AM Link | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)July 28, 2004
Bloody Hell! More Graxon!
Thanks to paulyt69 for spotting this one…
While I’m pleased you gals at Confidential have adopted our cause so whole-heartedly, can you give us a plug now? Please? Perhaps an article titled “History Of The Graxon” or “Particularly Rubbish Websites Whose Pointless Causes We Embrace”?
Posted by Jess at 9:58 AM Link | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)July 26, 2004
Trevor Wins Big Brother 2004
I guess I should start this post off by congratulating Trevor on his win. Well done also to Bree for scrambling to second place when very few people thought she had it in her… well, mostly me but from what I can gather around the traps, other people shared my suspicion.
However, my final Big Brother show round up will be less focused on the actual housemates involved in the last eviction and more to do with what a terrible bloody show it was.
Everything that could be buggered up was buggered up. Every opportunity to deflate excitement and tension was taken advantage of. Basically, in a single two hour episode, Kris Noble managed to trash the Big Brother Australian franchise beyond recognition.
I’ll spare you the tedious details regarding the Best Dressed At Eviction competition. I’ll save you from hearing about Aphrodite’s charming line of wannabe J-Lo hooker-wear, Catherine’s new hair colour, Elle’s baby voice and Gretel’s all round surliness.
Actually, I will delve into Gretel’s surliness momentarily, only to say that I completely understand it - from what I can tell, around half way into this year’s production she realised she had attached herself to a sinking ship and this realisation has been a thorn in her side, irritating her into bouts of stroppiness ever since.
My first problem with tonight’s show - allowing relatives into the house before the winner had been announced. There goes any anticipation and joy at seeing family by the time either housemate gets on stage. The Big Brother Final Eviction Balloon Of Excitement™ began to deflate.
Then for no explicable reason at all, Gretel announced that both housemates may now join her on stage. What? No final eviction? No nerves on the couch, anxiously waiting the results?
Bree and Trevor both arrived on the eviction stage, and got to see all the screaming fans - without actually knowing whether they were a winner or a runner up. Less soaking in the atmosphere, more mild trepidation at what was to come. Family were greeted yet again, but since Trevor and Bree had seen them just half an hour earlier there really wasn’t much cause for excitement.
Gretel adopted her school marm attitude and forced Bree & Trevor onto the couch - after all, they had an eviction coming up so there was no time to… oh, I don’t know… allow them to revel in the excitement of the crowd? The Big Brother Final Eviction Balloon Of Excitement™ continued to lose air rapidly.
On with a video wrap up of each finalists time in the house. Because we wouldn’t want to do that individually to give them closure or anything, no sir. More rabbiting on by Gretel, the Big Brother questions, and a shameless plug for Mitsubishi in the form of announcing the runner ups prize.
Weeeeeeoooouuuuuuuussshhhhheeeeeeeiiiiiiishhhhh. Hear that? More air wheezing from the now slightly flabby Big Brother Final Eviction Balloon Of Excitement™
Finally - the announcement. The winner of Big Brother 2004 is… Trevor! Bree, here’s the key to your car - now piss off. Wouldn’t it have been nice to have had the two discovering the winner while still in the house? Bree could have made her way to the eviction stage, had the crowd cheering for her, and had her moment to shine. Trevor could have contemplated the fact he’d won a million dollars for half an hour (excitement, nerves and happiness building up inside) before doing the time-honoured walk from the house to the eviction stage where he’d be reunited with his loved ones, and able to prance around on stage enjoying every moment of his victory. As mentioned earlier though, Kris Noble obviously decided ending Big Brother 2004 on a fantastic note would go against the theme of the series.
Trevor was joined onstage by girlfriend Breea, but his mother is ambushed by an aggressive Gretel (seemingly influenced in the art of defence from watching the weekend’s rugby union match between South Africa and New Zealand). “Christ almighty Gretel,” I thought “surely you can allow his mother onstage even if it does break with your time line of events!”
Luckily Gretel actually had a reason for blocking Trevor’s mum’s journey to her son - Trevor had something to announce, Survivor style. That’s right - he asked Breea to marry him! Awwww etc… Naturally she said yes, and the world breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
The rest of the housemates joined Trevor on stage, and with that Gretel declared Big Brother 2004 officially ov-uh. Nothing against Trevor, but by this stage, the Big Brother Final Eviction Balloon Of Excitement™ was a crumpled mess on the floor.
Once again, congratulations to Trevor, Bree and the rest of the housemates (especially those who weren’t utter wankers). Gretel - travel down to the Central Coast, shag your toyboy rotten, and spend the next few months doing Graxon photo shoots with Women’s Weekly. My final message?
It’s time to go… Kris Noble…
Posted by Jess at 11:56 PM Link | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)Time To Farewell Paul…
So where to start about tonight?
Well, the show had it’s usual beginning (ie: Gretel banter, followed by her repeatedly requesting the audience to shut up) and then they launched into asking the housemates some questions from the audience. Could Paul dance for us? How much are Bree’s chicken fillets? How does Trevor get his hair to look so lovely? While an incredible insight into the housemate’s psyches, I was beginning to suspect Big Brother producers were resorting to “filler” - little did I know what was ahead.
Gretel called Ryan on stage and began to casually chat to him about the last few days. Once again, MLS-scandal related conversation was off limits which personally I think was a shame. She should have asked him “Have you heard about the MLS t-shirt fiasco, and how do you feel about it? Did you know about your mates plans before you went into the house? Are you surly at them?” but no - we had to sit through inane “How much sleep have you had?” banter as per usual.
And then Big Brother sank to a new low. Gretel began asking Ryan about Monica, because you know, we just haven’t discussed this topic with him at all. Yawn. Gretel began to ask if he’d like to see her tonight - I began to pray that she was simply teasing him, and surely they weren’t going to bother with parading Monica onstage. How wrong I was.
Monica arrived and could be heard saying to Ryan as she greeted him something along the lines of “I had no idea they were going to do this” - what did you think they were bringing you to Dreamworld for? An onstage cat-fight with Bree if she was evicted?
Ryan and Monica sat down together and it was painful to watch the two of them acting like awkward teenagers on a first date. “How are you?” “Alright.” “What have you… ummm… been up to?” “Nothing much…” Urgh!
Once again, Gretel begins grilling them about their “relationship” - the one that they’ve repeatedly denied will happen. She asks “Do you want to pash?” Christ, Gretel - you might be shagging a teenager but there’s no need to revert into behaving like one! Then we have to sit down and watch footage we’ve all seen a million times before - Ryan & Monica’s blossoming infatuation. Ryan, visible in the bottom right hand corner, looks slightly livid and slightly mortified to have to sit through this embarrassment - I know how he feels. Monica giggles uncomfortably and even Gretel appears to realise just what a farcical segment Kris Noble has roped her into participating in.
All in all, it was about as insightful as an episode of Echo Point and thrice as horrible to sit through. Even the audience seemed disinterested, and I have a strong suspicion Ryan will beat someone to a bloodied pulp backstage later tonight. A pointless cheap stunt, a complete waste of time, and one must wonder whether it was really worth adding a half hour onto the eviction episode simply so Big Brother fans could bear witness to such rubbish.
Enough of that - onto Paul’s eviction! While I was sad that Paul had to leave (don’t worry, I’m constantly reminding myself it’s just a reality television show, and an increasingly crap one at that) I was quite happy with the remaining three housemates and couldn’t pick one I wanted booted from the house. As a result, I decided to abstain from voting (Merlin stylez!) and chose to watch on as an observer. I did expect Bree to go, but it would seem I’m underestimating young Bree a fair bit these days!
In any case, I don’t think Paul was too heartbroken about leaving. I think any normal person would be slightly disappointed to miss out on a chance at a million dollars after coming so close, but I never really thought of Paul as the type who cared much about the money. Sure, he did become less argumentative during the last few weeks, but I think that had less to do with “playing the game” and more to do (as he explained) with simply getting on better with the housemates remaining in the house later on in the series.
Gretel did the normal Big Brother questions with Paul, and I was rather amused at his analysis of Aphrodite - she talked too much, had a foul mouth, and wasn’t able to work out when it was appropriate and when it wasn’t. And think - Paul doesn’t even know about her Terri-related sniping post-eviction!
Finally, Paul was reunited with his family and proved that despite his huffing and puffing at times in the house, at heart he’s just a big softie - bless. Gretel decided to try a new approach when giving Paul his Mitsubishi Lancer, and directed the conversation towards Paul’s son Corey.
“Do you know what’s in this envelope?”
“Yeah.”
“What do you think it is?”
“Money.”
“No, it’s not money. Would you like to guess again?”
“Clocks.”
“No, it’s not a clock. Why don’t you put your hand in the envelope and find out?”
(Corey fumbles around in the envelope and eventually emerges clutching the keys to a Mitsubishi Lancer in his little fist)
“Keys.”
“That’s right, they’re keys. What do you think the keys are for?
“A house.”
Ha! Gotta love a six year old’s thought processes. Top possible prizes (in order) - Money, clocks, houses… By the time poor old Corey discovered Dad had won himself a car, he looked kinda bored of the whole thing.
So that’s it then. We farewell Paul, and tomorrow night is the big one! Who will win Big Brother 2004 - Trevor or Bree? Feel free to comment below and tell me who you think will win, and more importantly, who should win. Personally, I can’t help but feel that tomorrow night will be a little bit of an anti-climax but maybe I’ll perk up tomorrow. In any case, it’s nearly time for ausculture.com to end it’s Big Brother Blogfest! We’ve followed through with something - bloody hell!
Gretel Clothing Summary! A fetching, sparkly pink corset (has she hired Ashalea as a stylist?) with a dollop of bling bling-ish jewellery on the ears and fingers. I was rather concerned by her hair extensions though, which looked more like the floppy ears of a King Charles Spaniel than a fashion statement.
July 23, 2004
Housemate’s Favourite Moments
This series’ evictees have each selected some of their favourite moments from the house in order to help us all gingerly wander down memory lane before the final eviction - awwwww.
No surprise then that Aphrodite has selected something about herself… that wasn’t even funny and may not have even occurred! Will her ego ever die? Or will it live forever in the form of a fake Vuitton hand bag sort of like Sauron did in Lord Of The Rings - except his malice was kept alive through the existence of a ring, not a han… Oh, forget it.
Merlin also seems to be assured of his own importance (too much hanging out with Aphrodite, young man!) and names his own eviction as his favourite moment, as “it gave a lot of people strength and hope, including hundreds of people who have been detained for years.” Whether it did or not, babes, us Aussies believe in modesty. Stop blowing your own trumpet!
The ex-housemates have also predicted who they think will win. Kane and not surprisingly Monica hoped that Ryan would emerge a millionaire (‘fraid not, kittens) while the rest were divided between Trevor (who had the majority) and Paul. Bree, alas, doesn’t rate a mention amongst her fellow contestants.
Posted by Jess at 10:14 PM Link | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)Ryan’s Shock Eviction
I can honestly say I wasn’t expecting Ryan to leave tonight. I had hoped he would, but I didn’t expect it. Why had I hoped he would leave? Nothing to do with him being a particularly bad bloke, but like with most other viewers, the MLS t-shirt scandal left a bad taste in my mouth, and Big Brother’s favouritism through out the series was so irritating I’ve spent the last few weeks especially hoping that voters would upset the metaphorical Big Brother producer’s apple cart.
Ryan’s eviction tonight means that nothing is certain - even the most adamant of anti-Ryan viewers out there probably wouldn’t have guessed Fryzie’s eviction was imminent - and more than ever, it proves that Bree is back in the game. At the very least, she’s in with a chance and one I didn’t anticipate.
After Ryan’s named was called out, he ran outside and uttered something like “Gonna go see my boys!” I wouldn’t be too thrilled with them if I were you, mate - they’re almost solely responsible with losing you a million dollars and their absence from the stage tonight was a noticeable reaction to the “MLS scandal” that has rocked fan forums and gossip columns over the past two weeks.
Where did the MLS gang go wrong? After all, their friend was arguably the most popular housemate in the series, he was the odds on favourite to win the entire show, and in a matter of weeks, without knowing anything at all about it, he’s ended up out on his arse, not even making it to the final three.
I’d say things started to go wrong for the MLS campaign the second his friends got too egotistical about their involvement. Each time they appeared on an eviction show, they appeared more and more smug. Then news of the MLS shirts began appearing on the internet. Ryan’s mates created a website where they apparently announced they’d targeted Catherine and were using the funds to vote her out - a post which was reportedly removed after it garnered too many complaints.
A fine example of the arrogant approach Ryan’s MLS buddies used -
Throw in a couple of photos of people who aren’t Ryan and an option to email people who aren’t Ryan, and you begin to wonder whether the MLS crew think they’re a whole lot more interesting to the Australian public than they really are. There is one MLS member who has captured the publics imagination - and the public can view him on Channel Ten, thanks all the same.
Finally, the mainstream media caught on to the MLS tshirt = votes story, Centrebet cancelled it’s Big Brother betting due to suspicion of dodgy dealings, and suddenly Ryan went from being considered a ‘top Aussie bloke’ to being associated with something unfair and sneaky. Against the rules? Perhaps not. But most certainly against the unspoken rules of the games, especially where it counts - in the eyes of the shows fans.
Once Ryan had joined Gretel on stage, we were treated to some footage of him being the “mediator”. I must admit I’d forgotten it was Ryan who broke up the Paul & Merlin fight so well all those weeks ago, and it was one of his finer moments.
Soon afterwards though, Ryan’s joy at being Ryan started becoming overly apparent. Watching him on the bottom right corner of the screen as he was treated to video clips of his time in the house, it was slightly off-putting to see him yell “Fer-ryzie!” affectionately at the screen while watching shots of himself. His biggest compliment for Bree? “She’s the female version of Fryzie.”
The audience seemed somewhat cool towards him. His attempt at using some catch-phrases seemed to crash and burn, his “I’m a massive loser” gag getting a mere uncomfortable snicker from the crowd. During the interview with Gretel, you could almost hear the audience groaning under their breath every time the phrases “I’ll give you the hot tip”, “Massive”, “Deplorable” and “You’re joooking me!” were used.
The sad part is that Ryan may not have known of his mates entrepreneurial skills regarding the MLS shirts, but because of his friends (in particular, that one idiot with the funny looking head who turned up to loads of eviction shows wearing a green MLS shirt and a cocky smile) desire to claw their way to second-hand fame - the fifteen minute variety, no less - he’ll always be associated with dicey dealings.
MLS isn’t the only reason he was evicted though. Making one girl cry can be enough to get you voted out of most reality shows - five of them is pushing it a fair bit. A romance with a girl who has a boyfriend never does you much good, and murdering Jeff Buckley lyrics so the rest of us can’t listen to Grace again for at least a year is an even greater sin… at least in my eyes.
Finally, Ryan can thank Big Brother producers, whose sledgehammer approach to editing the shows in order to keep Ryan popular eventually alienated the shows genuine fans - even if the “massive” audience of mindless teenage girls managed to remain oblivious and faithful to the MLS cause for so long.
Au revoir, Fryzie - you were essentially a good bloke and despite the fact various bumblings resulted in you missing out on a million, I’m sure that Channel Ten sports presenter contract you signed before entering will sort you out moolah wise. Bless.
PS: Unfortunate choice of photo on the official site, don’t you think? He looks quite literally like a window licker.
Gretel Clothing Summary! No red, stripes or dots - but a necklace was prominent! As for the hair, well - dreadlocks? Honestly Gretel, what did you do to the stylist to make her resent you so much? You looked liked some Nimbin hippy’s corporate spinster twin!
Posted by Jess at 9:53 PM Link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)Ryan’s Naughty Finger | Tonight’s Eviction Prediction
The Official Site have published an article about Ryan giving Bree the finger over the weekend - and thank the lord, finally Carmel Hill has something to do since Bree’s eviction!
Shockingly, I think this article is the closest thing we’re going to get to the Big Brother spin doctors saying anything negative about Ryan. Are they finally conscious of the growing public resentment of MLS & Big Brother’s favouritism of Ryan? Are they trying to earn back our love by showing Ryan in a not-all-that-terrible-but-slightly-less-than-angelic light? Little late for that, Big Brother.
Back to Carmel.
“Ryan always saw himself as popular with everyone,” Carmel says. “He would have liked to have been in Trevor’s position at the moment - with no one having nominated him,” Carmel says.
Ryan? Competitive? But isn’t he just a carefree Aussie larrikin footy playing heartthrob beer-swilling romantic-yet-bumbling occasionally surly-but-in-a-completely-understandable-way stud muffin who helps old ladies across the road and works part-time as a Scout leader? Big Brother, stop filling my head with crazy ideas that Ryan might actually be “playing the game”. Lord, I hate that phrase.
Eviction Prediction! Tonight’s show? Bree. Then hopefully Ryan will leave, and it’ll be between Trevor and Paul, either of whom I don’t particularly mind winning Big Brother. What do you think is going to happen tonight?
Gretel Clothing Prediction! I see something with some colour on it. Red, I think. Possibly with stripes, more likely a stripes and spot combo. Fur lining somewhere. Hair tied back in a ridiculous fashion. A necklace will feature prominently.
As I am a Pisces, I am heavily psychic. There is no need to consume grains or any other amounts of salt but rather accept my predictions as wholeheartedly as you would the predictions of Athena Starwoman.
Posted by Jess at 11:40 AM Link | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)Scanned clipping of Graxon
As mentioned on Wednesday, ausculture.com were successful in getting Graxon thrown into a gossip column. Sydney Confidential, to be exact. Below is a scanned clipping from the Daily Telegraph - click to enlarge.
Amazingly, friends of mine last night mentioned Graxon to me in general conversation, not actually realising that it was ausculture.com rather than Sydney Confidential who originated (well, donnie_darko created it, but we adopted it with his permission) the phrase. Hilariously, they had also heard about the Saxon\Gretel duet rumour ausculture.com created, which goes to prove that lying and forgery are rather rewarding pastimes.
I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I find it rather interesting though that neither Telegraph-related articles we’ve been remotely related to (Wednesday’s Graxon appearance in Sydney Confidential & the opinion piece on Francesca Willis from July 8th) have ever bothered to name-check our actual site. How are we expected to quit our day jobs and spend hours on end licking hallucinogenic drugs off the thighs of high-class prostitutes dressed in school uniforms when the world isn’t aware of how brilliant we are? Is there any justice?
Posted by Jess at 9:57 AM Link | Comments (16) | TrackBack (0)July 21, 2004
Graxon Watch!
Sydney Confidential, as promised, have used the word “Graxon” to describe everyone’s favourite May-December romance. Unfortunately, it’s not in the online version of “The Con”, but never fear - I’ll scan the article later tonight and post it online.
Sadly, once again ausculture.com remains itself unmentioned, but that’s okay - personally I wouldn’t mention us either - we are merely messengers from God spreading the gospel of Graxon through out the land. But once it is realised around the world just how interesting we are, expect an appearance on A Current Affair and a tell-all exclusive in Woman’s Day. Right Patrick? After all, I met Collette (of “Ring My Bell” fame) and Patrick has played chess with Barry Manilow*.
Have YOU seen a reference to Graxon anywhere?
Email graxonwatch@ausculture.com and do your part for this ridiculous campaign!
*One of these tales is true.
Posted by Jess at 1:12 PM Link | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)July 20, 2004
Sydney Confidential - Our New Partners In Crime
I have to admit it - I’d given up on Graxon becoming shorthand for “Saxon & Gretel” in the media. We’d emailed everyone we knew (okay, one newspaper column) and nothing.
But then - today. Not only do we learn that the delightful team of K-Rock 95.5 FM plan on giving our little ol’ Graxon Campaign 2004 a plug on air, but… but… oh, I can hardly contain the excitement! Sydney Confidential wrote back! They’re going to mention Graxon in their column! The world is a beautiful place again! I love exclamation marks! So it seems!
Since they’ve proven themselves to have a sense of humour and a penchant for mischief making, I give Sydney Confidential two thumbs up. Three, if I’d grown up in Chernobyl.
Fiona Connolly, the representative of The Con (as we call them in the biz since, erm… today) did point out though that we link smh.com.au on the front page but not news.com.au. This really should be rectified as I shamelessly steal material from both sites equally. Fiona, we’ll update our links column accordingly - that’s our promise to you from Big W ausculture.com
Faithful Graxon devotees, tomorrow - Wednesday the 21st July - shall forever be etched in our memories as the day we got our chance to shine. Next stop? NW Magazine. Tiffany Dunk, don’t let me down - we were at the same New Years Eve party!
PS: Mike Goldman, this merely cements our contempt for you. Fancy not bothering to reply to Big Brother Bingo! Hiss!
Posted by Jess at 10:26 PM Link | TrackBack (0)July 19, 2004
Centrebet vs MLS
Just a quick interesting story for you all - Centrebet have stopped betting on Big Brother due to their belief that something fishy is going on with the MLS shirts.
Read the whole story by heading here. Thoughts?
Posted by Jess at 8:35 PM Link | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)More Cross-Promotion In The House
Ryan and the MLS t-shirt promotion “scandal” has given ausculture.com - and it’s readers - plenty of room for thought. One of those readers, epicurus, has written an amusing little article about other possible cross-promotions we could have seen in the house. Bravo!
If The Playing Field Was Level
- a special report by reader epicurus
IGOR would have a deal brokered with Holden before entering the house. He would be the new “Face of Monaro” for 2004, with a television advertising campaign running simultaneously with his time in the house. Monaros would be used on eviction night, and Igor would wear Holden T’shirts and be allowed to make “vroom vroom” noises every time there was a live cross. As with all housemates, a percentage of profits would go towards the strategic voting kitty.
APHRODITE would have a special deal with the manufacturers of Valium. Every time she went into a fit of hysterical rage or tears, she’d pop a pill in the diary room and come up all smiles. There would be cross promotion at several private psychiatric hospitals.
BREE would have an album of dance/pop remixes released during the first week of the show. She would have music videos on high rotation on Video Hits and a cross promotion deal with Australian Idol.
ASHALEA would have a range of pink apparel available exclusively through Supre. Plus a deal with KFC. Every Wednesday “family dinner” would be KFC, of course. Ashalea’s advertising campaign would be dual - both KFC spots and Supre ads.
KRYSTAL would have several “artistic” magazine shoots released onto newspaper shelves at crucial times during the series. An “instructional lovemaking video” would be released at a strategic time.
WESLEY would be sponsored by the Liberal Party and would be the face of the Medicare campaign. John Howard would imply that Melanie Howard and Wesley were “courting”. Wesley would bring up the topic of “That Latham Goon” every single family dinner.
TERRI would have a sponsorship deal with Adultshop.com. A highlight of live crosses would be “Terri’s Dildo of the week”.
Posted by Jess at 8:23 PM Link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)Official diary entry excitement!
Ryan tallies up all the groceries. “We’ve got $1.53 left,” he says. Bree really wants to buy Pizza Shapes but is disappointed when she realises that the HMs are four cents short. “Tragedy,” she says. Paul suggests the HMs buy some carrots so he can barbeque them. Unfortunately, carrots are $1.99. The HMs eventually decide to buy canned mango to eat with cream. “Canned mango, that’ll be sick,” Paul says. Paul and Bree return the whiteboard to the diary room. Bree says: “It’s the best we’ve eaten for weeks.”
Ryan tallies up all the groceries. “We’ve got $1.53 left,” he says. Bree really wants to buy Pizza Shapes but is disappointed when she realises that the HMs are four cents short. “Tragedy,” she says. Paul suggests the HMs buy some carrots so he can barbeque them. Unfortunately, carrots are $1.99. The HMs eventually decide to buy canned mango to eat with cream. “Canned mango, that’ll be sick,” Paul says. Paul and Bree return the whiteboard to the diary room. Bree says: “It’s the best we’ve eaten for weeks.” Hang on, did I say exciting? I meant tedious. My bad.
Allow me to adopt a David Attenborough voice momentarily, won’t you dears?
(ahem)
The female of the herd, increasingly confident after emerging victorious from territorial battles with other now-departed females, begins behaving aggressively towards the remaining males. Her attempts to dominate them is apparent in her howling and posturing around the enclosure. The males, too scared to defend their honour in her presence, wait till the female is out of sight before signalling anger and annoyance at her behaviour. Tremendously exciting stuff. Later tonight, the males are expected to continue their ritual of howling at the moon - “Yooooooooo’re jooooooooooooooooooooking meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” - an ancient mating call.
Posted by Jess at 4:13 PM Link | TrackBack (0)July 18, 2004
Catherine Evicted
Surprising absolutely no one, Catherine was evicted tonight from the Big Brother house. While rumours circulated over the past week that the MLS T-shirt scam would result in Catherine being evicted by an overwhelming majority, in all honesty I don’t think Catherine would have stayed on at the expense of Paul & Ryan regardless.
One thing I did notice though was that she didn’t receive nearly as many votes as I thought she would (not that I dislike her particularly, but you know what I mean). She gathered 41% of the vote, with the runner up on 30-something per cent, and someone else on 20-something.
And bless - her kids are quite sweet. I had a little giggle when her son asked if he could have the day off school and mouthed a “Yes!!!” when Catherine said he could. I think Gretel was losing patience though - when she asked them to go up to the car and the kids responded “Why?” I half-expected her to reply “Because I told you so, that’s why!”
She also got surly with the audience continuing to make noise a few times. Perhaps Saxon isn’t fulfilling her needs? Perhaps afternoons of group masturbation leave him shattered and too exhausted to make the beast with two backs with our beloved host? We can only guess. Personally, I’ll give you the hot tip and say that I highly rate Graxon - she’s a top bird and he’s a good bloke, and if they end up getting hitched, it’ll be massive. You’re jooooking me!
Posted by Jess at 11:27 PM Link | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)Various Big Brother Malarkey
Another day, another girl crying over Ryan it seems. Fer-ryzie got B-reezer offside with a passing comment this week when he told Trevor and Paul (in front of and regarding Bree) he’d “…root one of you blokes first, I’ll give you the hot tip”
This upset poor Bree, who’s been craving some Ryan love since early on in the series, and once again Ryan was left apologising to a female housemate for comments made while under the influence. He insisted that if Bree were able to watch the goodbye messages he’s recorded over the last few weeks, she’d see just how much he cares for her.
More interestingly than this fight is that after saying his apologies, later on Ryan walked by a sleeping Bree and stuck his finger up at her. Hmmmmm. I wonder if that’s what his video goodbyes consisted of too?
Chrissie and Ben continue their weekly commentary, this time answering a few questions about Ryan & Ash, housemate paranoia and the all important “Who’s gonna win the million?” Chrissie makes a passing comment that this year’s housemates “are a lot savvier than we were I think.” From memory, I think the only naive housemates were those in the original series of Big Brother - everyone since has been pretty clued up about the media frenzy that follows Big Brother contestants.
Finally, smh.com.au have done a write up on Ryan and the MLS scandal. You can read it here. I know this is a rather random comment, but am I the only one beginning to think that Ryan’s mate’s are cashing in on his fame? Just from watching them on Big Brother eviction shows and Today Tonight, I get this overwhelming feeling that they’re confusing Ryan’s popularity with the public for public love of the entire MLS gang. Of course, anything that helps you get laid…
Posted by Jess at 10:43 PM Link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)The Spin Continues aka The Uncut Special
with special guest commentator epicurus
In retrospect, I was chuffed that circumstances led to me taping this show rather than watching it last night. The scripted segments were quite painful indeed, and my fast-forward thumb started cramping up by the end. Surprisingly, the show was fairly dull and repetitious. Particularly surprising, given the amount of controversy that surrounds the series this season, which Kris Noble is probably really struggling to keep under the carpet by now.
The Ryan bias continues unabated. Many (most?) of the evicted housemates have indicated someone other than Ryan as the “funniest housemate” when newly deposited upon the eviction couch. Usually Trevor. Nonetheless, Ryan pulled a veritable Lord of The Rings effort and dominated proceedings throughout.
As an aside: this was very possibly the first face to face encounter between Terri and Aphrodite since her “gutted rabbit” comments.
Sadly, the stage full of the evicted housemates didn’t erupt into an all-in chairfest reminiscent of Jerry Springer at his best. However, Terri and Aphrodite were clearly seated beyond spitting range. Or nail range, for that matter.
Hurrah and thank you to our friend epicurus for such a delightful article! Do you think that YOU could write something fairly amusing and insightful about Big Brother? If so, then email me (check out the About page for contact details) and if it’s good enough\relevant enough\witty enough we’ll be honoured to publish it.
Posted by Jess at 7:06 PM Link | TrackBack (0)July 17, 2004
A Massively Disturbing Epidemic
It would appear that the Massive Epidemic that struck down all Big Brother housemates in Australia this year has been unknowingly carried over to Europe. According to Ananova, Britain’s very own Big Brother contestant Stuart did a little diary room confessing the other day.
I hope all ausculture.com send their best wishes and prayers over Stu’s direction. We can only hope that Stu, so far the only British housemate infected with Massive-itis Disease, manages to avoid spreading the illness amongst the remaining healthy housemates.
Posted by Jess at 1:50 PM Link | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)Bree & Ryan & Monica
So - Bree can’t stop talking about Monica, eh? Well, there are a number of reasons I can think of as to why that would be the case.
Firstly, Bree does sort of fancy Ryan, so she was never going to be overly thrilled about Monica. The fact that Monica had a boyfriend and still behaved the way she did towards Ryan would only cement Bree’s idea that Monica “isn’t right” for Ryan.
Secondly, Monica got a parting shot in at Bree right before she was evicted and that’s left Bree feeling like she has been cheated out of a chance to defend herself. Nonetheless, she’s constantly trying to defend herself regardless to the other housemates but can’t get any satisfaction out of it since Monica’s not there to admit she’s wrong or apologise.
Finally though - Bree (and I hate to say this) is noticeably different since surviving eviction. She’s not evil or anything - she is just displaying a lot more confidence in what she’s able to say or do than she used to before her false eviction. She also probably sensed during her eviction show with Gretel that the audience were not warm towards Monica, so perhaps unconsciously she’s willing to bad mouth Monica in the house believing that the public won’t dislike her for it - hell, they’ll probably support her!
Anyway - that’s all boring, isn’t it, compared to the picture below. Perhaps I’m just a dirty girl (“Yes” - everyone who’s met me) but Ryan’s hand looks to be cradling Bree’s noo-noo… non?
July 16, 2004
Exclusive picture - hidden from the public
With voting screw-ups, widespread suspicion of vote-rigging and failing to air
ausculture.com has uncovered something far more disturbing - some key footage from the household is being withheld. This footage was not displayed on any of the live streams. Not even via one of those fancy “3” phones that all the other people have.
An inside source has leaked a picture to us of a key moment in the evolution of Big Brother this year. We have it, others do not.
So, before I completely kill the already slim chances this has of getting a laugh - view this key moment in Big Brother 2004 (shamefully exclusive to ausculture.com)
Posted by Patrick at 5:40 PM Link | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)July 15, 2004
Ryan, MLS, BBBA & Today Tonight
As many of you probably know, tonight Josh from Behind Big Brother was on Today Tonight - erm - tonight actually, talking about the MLS t-shirt sales that are funding Ryan’s stay in the house. Here are my thoughts on the whole thing.
I’ve mentioned quite a few times on here that I don’t want Ryan to win Big Brother for quite a few reasons. At first, my reasoning was that I’m sick of predictable winners, and Ryan has been the favourite to win the competition since the word go.
After a while, the blatant favouritism by Big Brother towards Ryan became apparent and I thought “God, I don’t really want to give Southern Star\Endemol the ending they want simply because it’s meant to be my choice as a viewer who wins.”
I believe it was epicurus (ausculture.com commenter, not the Greek) who noted regarding this year’s ridiculously biased production that when the producers get overly involved in manipulating the way the show evolves over the season, the entire point behind the show is lost. The slogan used to be “You decide” but series four seems to have changed it to “Kris Noble decides”
But the straw that finally broke the camels back’s for me was the realisation that Ryan’s MLS shirts were being sold to fund his stay in the house. At first, it seems like a smart thing for his mates to do - as Ryan’s mum said on Today Tonight, “Good on them”.
Looking further into the issue, however, and it is revealed that the shirts are being sold at Dreamworld, where the Big Brother house is situated. Sounding slightly more dodgy? And they’re being sold because of their new popularity through Ryan wearing the t-shirts constantly in the Big Brother house, effectively advertising the shirts every weeknight to a huge audience. Dodgier. And then we come to the fact that housemates are discouraged from wearing (obviously) branded clothing, and one is forced to wonder - how can Big Brother producers allow one housemate to wear a brand of clothing in the house, sell the brand at the actual Dreamworld site, and use the money to fund his stay in the house? How is this possibly fair on the other housemates? Whether or not it’s breaking any “technical” rules of the house, it doesn’t sit well with me. Ideally, I’d love for it to be a waste of time for them with Ryan missing out on the million and someone who hasn’t had such a bankroll behind them winning.
How do we know all this stuff about the MLS shirts - indeed, how do we know about most of the production’s dirty laundry? It’s thanks to sites like Behind Big Brother.
It’s important to remember that Behind Big Brother is a fan site - it’s not obligated to report on the goings on in the house like the Official Site, it doesn’t have the resources of other media outlets (but gets the scoops regardless), and it is run by people who take time out of their daily lives to give fans an alternative to the propaganda packed Official Site.
Recently BBBA forum users argued over whether the site itself, after complaining about bias on the Official Site and in the editing of the show, was guilty of exactly the same thing after it launched a campaign to evict Ryan. Shortly afterwards, a moderator posted an article online claiming the Herald-Sun’s gossip column The Eye had plagiarised them after the paper published an opinion piece regarding Bree’s eviction and host Gretel Killeen’s “encouraging” of viewers to vote out the “boring” housemates which expressed similar thoughts as an article posted on BBBA earlier. Fans were divided as to whether “ego” had gotten in the way of Big Brother commentary.
The site isn’t perfect - hell, what website is? - but it’s an alternative and a pretty great one at that. The Official Site closed down it’s forums this year, leaving many fans without a place to talk about the show (and there I was thinking audience interaction and participation was a key element of the show?). Lucky then that BBBA provides a forum for it’s readers to chat and debate.
All in all, I think the MLS t-shirt controversy has highlighted the importance of fansites. Yes, BBBA makes mistakes. As does ausculture.com. As do most sites who don’t have the luxuries of time, money and resources to utilise while writing news and commentary. But let’s appreciate what we do have and thank our lucky stars that Big Brother and his team of lackeys aren’t able to pull the wool over our eyes - at least, not completely.
It’s been a disappointing year, and I don’t think the choice of housemates are to blame (at least, not completely). Big Brother has insulted its viewers through heavy handed editing, over-involvement (since when did Gretel tell us who we should vote for?) and an Official Site which is worth reading purely to study modern propaganda techniques. It’ll take a hell of a lot of work to repair the damage done this year, and I’m not entirely sure there’s enough time for them to it.
Posted by Jess at 8:50 PM Link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)July 13, 2004
Big Brother Speculation
smh.com.au really hasn’t been all that interested in Big Brother this year, other than when the “big stuff” occurs - Merlin’s protest, Bree’s re-entry, etc. Generally, all newspaper articles I link to regarding the show come straight from news.com.au who are willing to publish five hundred word stories online as soon as someone in the house farts. Imagine my surprise to discover that smh.com.au are actually experts!
I don’t mean to tease ‘em. It’s just they have seem rather disinterested, and possibly for good reason. Big Brother can be dicey during the best of years, but who’d want to bother constantly reporting on a Kris Noble production? (“Us.” - News Ltd, ausculture.com, Behind Big Brother…)
Anyways, I’ll let you check out the run down of the final five for yourself, and I’d be curious as to what feedback you have regarding it. Are they correct in their summations or hideously and grotesquely wrong?
Posted by Jess at 12:05 AM Link | Comments (12) | TrackBack (0)July 12, 2004
Graxon Campaign - On The Move
After swearing a sacred oath a few days ago to campaign relentlessly until the word “Graxon” is automatically associated with Big Brother’s most delightful May-December romance, it is my honour to show you proof that I am true to my word.
Below is an email I sent to Sydney Confidential on Sunday evening to try and encourage them to begin using the term. Have they written back? Have they begun using the term? No, my dears, and frankly I’m feeling hurt and betrayed.
Seriously - whose arse do you have to kiss in order to start a craze in the media? Clearly, this second snubbing of ausculture.com (the first being by the Up Late team) simply cements my theory that we are a rubbish website of no consequence. My mighty heart is breaking. I’ll be in the Humvee.
PS: Don’t let ausculture.com’s miserable failure at pleading with the Sydney Confidential team stop YOU from doing your duty! Feel free to email the newspaper column yourself and beg them to take our cause to the masses.
Posted by Jess at 11:52 PM Link | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)Tonight’s Nominations
The last nomination show ever - how positively thrilling! And yet there’s not all that much to say really except “See ya, Catherine! Thanks for the memories!”
Oh - and Gretel was unintentionally hilarious tonight.
Excited voice - “And with the most votes tonight - Paul!”
Near whisper - “Oh and Ryan might have tied with four points too.”
And to briefly sum up everything else - Monica is an idiot, Bree still fancies Ryan a little, Ashalea will join Channel 7’s Girl TV team, and Wes is the quintessential Young Liberal but rather nice regardless.
Gretel Clothing Summary!
On her way to a nightclub with Saxon after borrowing clothes from his female school chums!
A quick poll
On a scale of 1 to 5, how do you feel about Monica’s eviction?
- I’m taking it with a grain of salt
- Mildly amused
- Quite pleased
- Massively impressed
- Absolutely ecstatic
Update: With 148 votes today, the most popular choice was easily “Massively impressed.” Thanks everyone, voting is closed.
Note: poll may not be representative of actual public opinion. Also, the voting script still needs some work.
Posted by Patrick at 2:15 AM Link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)The Difference Between Mon & Ash
Thanks to Anny Phillips for pointing this out.
Ashalea Shock, surprise, disappointment
Monica Visit to proctologist, cactus jammed into anus
That is all.
Posted by Jess at 1:17 AM Link | Comments (15) | TrackBack (0)July 11, 2004
Tonight’s Double Eviction - Monica & Ashalea
What a big night for Big Brother fans, eh? Tonight was the double eviction, and shocking no one, Monica was the first to get booted (and by a pretty “massive” margin too - she got 43% of the vote, her nearest rival at the time merely with 13%).
A brief pre-eviction chat with Gretel in the diary room simply confirmed that Monica wasn’t going to last much longer - not even fifteen minutes longer, in fact. When Gretel had asked all the other housemates who they wouldn’t like to see win the million dollars, they all refused to answer. However when the question was posed to Monica, she quickly replied “Bree” - and got an earful of booing from the audience for her trouble.
After Monica had her name read out by Gretel, I was half expecting Ryan to switch into Saxon mode - blubbering and asking for his mummy - but thankfully it appeared his mind was mostly on the next eviction and although sad, he didn’t get too mushy when Monica said goodbye. We do have something to be thankful for - no Jeff Buckley lyrics were uttered (or at least not loud enough for me to hear.)
A subdued (but luckily for her, no longer booing) audience greeted Monica when she arrived at the eviction stage. Gretel was friendly enough but even her positive spin on Monica’s last two weeks wasn’t enough to wipe the audience’s memories of the manipulative, shrewd intruder that was Monica. When asked who her least favourite housemate was, Monica replied “Bree” though for the life of me, I can’t think of anything Bree’s done to deserve Monica’s obvious dislike of her. Sure, when Bree left, Monica had her best chance at fitting in with the girls and become the “buddy” of the guys , but it’s hardly Bree’s fault she was wrongly evicted and had to re-enter the house so why take it out on her?
Oh and another thing - everyone called Wes boring, but Monica’s footage of the past two weeks was more fucking dull than watching paint dry on the Popstars Live stage. Other than her attempts to slut about with Ryan, did she do anything remotely worth watching?
Time for a second eviction! My only real hope was that the second evictee wouldn’t be Bree, since it would be horrible for her to have bothered re-entering the house only to be swiftly evicted again. I thought the evictee would probably be Catherine, possibly be Bree, and hopefully be Ryan (simply for something unexpected). I really did not expect Ashalea’s name called out.
Now I’ve got to be honest with you, I don’t understand myself at all. At first, I wanted to strangle Ashalea. Then I tolerated her but thought she was over-acting a bit. Suddenly, out of nowhere - I began to like her. No matter what you can say about Ashalea, her emotions were always genuine, and she was one of the few housemates to stand up to Fer-ryzie (even if her comparison of her & Merlin’s situation to Ryan & Monica’s situation was rather off-target). She was never boring - frustrating at times, certainly, but never dull. Some of the great laughs this year were due to Ashalea (being pelted by balls, being thrown in the pool, being frightened by Trevor, being stuck in the chest) and that’s a pretty cool thing to have on your Big Brother resume. Better than being known as The Whinger, The Feral Bloke, The Cryer, The Bitch, and The Wannabe SNAG, that’s for sure!
So when Ashalea’s name was called out, and her face immediately fell - hell, even I was feeling terrible! She was never in it for the money, and that endeared her to me more than a few other housemates (who may or may not have been evicted tonight also - ahem) who might have university degrees and common sense.
Gretel liked Ashalea too - before Ash went on stage, I said to my housemates “You watch - Gretel likes Ash, so she’ll hold her hand” and sure enough, some hand holding ensured. Ahh Gretel, you’re the mum Australia never had - and some of us had sex with. Actually, just Saxon. I feel ill (despite my support of Graxon).
As per usual, we got to see Ash’s best footage from inside the house, and if you were ever in doubt to her importance in the house, the reel should have cleared you of it. She was funny, she was endearing, she was at times incredibly ignorant and at other times incredibly sharp. Most importantly - she improved immensely after Merlin left the house and she could focus less on pursuing him and more on being herself.
Finally, Ashalea was one of the few housemates who the “Guess what I have in this envelope” question wasn’t completely useless on. I mean, geeez - there’s a great big Mitsubishi logo on the envelope and it sounds just like a pair of keys, what on earth could it be?
This eviction though, Gretel did it well. She reminded Ashalea of her remark in the house that when she left Big Brother, she’d like to save up and buy a Mitsubishi Lancer (though if she said any other car, I’m sure she would have been overdubbed). When Gretel pulled out the envelope and handed Ashalea the keys, Ash was the first evictee not to act like “Oh, a car, whatever… now where’s the nearest Neighbours casting agent?” - she began sobbing with joy right away and actually made you feel glad that someone was finally grateful for all that they’d received as prizes for sitting on their arse for weeks.
Ashalea, I don’t know how you did it, but you broke me down. I like you, dammit. Thanks for being an entertaining housemate. Now scoot down to the local library, pull out a geography book and get reading - I want to see you on Half-Arsed-Celebrity Who Wants To Me A Millionaire doing a Molly Meldrum.
Gretel Clothing Summary!
Drunk bridesmaid, with a dash of brothel!
July 9, 2004
Oooh! We’re Launching A Movement!
So I’m perusing the BBBA forums when a flash of brilliance jumps out at me from the screen. What, you might ask? Well, it’s a new way to refer to Saxon & Gretel. I cannot believe I didn’t think of it myself. But kudos to donnie_darko from the BBBA forums for inventing “Graxon”
From now on, auscuture.com refuse to refer to the couple as anything but Graxon. I hope you guys take it up too. Hopefully we will then launch the phrase into the media where it will be used with aggravating frequency in gossip columns. Graxon! It’s terrible! It’s hideous! It’s here to stay.
If you feel as strongly towards this pointless issue as we do, then feel free to place the below picture on your site. Together, we can convince Sydney Confidential to begin to use the term “Graxon”.
Wesley Evicted
Poor old Wesley. Even being evicted hasn’t convinced the Big Brother Official Site’s writers from having a dig at him. In possibly the least friendly description of a housemate I can remember, the OS have posted their Wesley Eviction article with a minimum of fuss, probably hoping to wash their hands of him and have him gone.
According to the article, Wes had a tanned chest. Yes, he did. Then they tell us that early on, there was talk of him flying under the radar - and they link to their own article! Yes, Big Brother, there was talk of that - and the ball started rolling when you gave it an almighty shove.
He was “inoffensive” and “innocuous”, and did you know he only voted for girls up until Week 9? At that point he “suddenly turned 2 points on Ryan.” Am I the only one who finds that an interesting choice of words? Take out the “2 points” and you have what the BB site really thinks.
I expect to see a similar thing written in Ashalea’s eviction article, Big Brother. How about you mention how well he handled being told last? How Wes always had a smile on his face and something positive to say? How he kept Ashalea uplifted when she was feeling down about being the last told about the secret by making “the last in Australia to know!” jokes?
Sure, he asked an anonymous question at a family dinner and didn’t own up to it. Well, don’t allow them to ask anonymous questions if you plan on vilifying them afterwards. He had a tendency to offer people he nominated a hug after they were upset about being up for eviction - I seem to recall you turning Johnnie into a bastard for doing the same thing.
Well, Big Brother, since you force housemates to say hateful things about each other when they nominate in order to get enough material for your nominations show, don’t be surprised when people feel the need to exaggerate their feelings towards a housemate in order to get through Monday without a strike. Don’t be surprised afterwards when they see a housemate they really do like feeling terrible about their nomination and give them some comfort. What would you rather - everytime someone nominated another housemate, they went through the week throwing stones and swearing at them?
Wes was a great guy. He was nice, occasionally quite funny, friendly and warm. I don’t care what slanted footage you show of him on your program or what nonsense articles you post on your Official Site - I know that last night I witnessed a top bloke leaving the Big Brother house and while I wouldn’t have voted for him to win, I still believe he deserved an eviction where he wasn’t made to look like a dickhead.
Posted by Jess at 2:17 PM Link | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)Don Juan De Yawn
Is it a day ending with “y”? Yes? Ooooh! Then time for another article about Fer-ryzie on the official site! Hurrah hurrah and all that jazz!
This time, it’s an article on Fer-ryzie’s romantic side. Which consists of destroying Jeff Buckley lyrics for thousands of fans and making the occasional creepy fetish reference to a girl’s shoulders from what I’ve seen but what do I know? Nothin’ it seems - hell, the Official Site still hasn’t felt like changing their score aggregate of popularity to reflect Ryan’s genuine result in every day mathematics, so it’s clear it lives in it’s on cocooned version of reality.
“Didja see my scores on the popularity polls before you went in the house, Mon?” Just a guess.
Posted by Jess at 1:37 PM Link | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)Ryan & Ashalea Fight
Last night during Up Late, Ryan and Ashalea apparently had a massive blow up at each other. Typical. The night I stay up and watch the entire show they’re all asleep. I have one early night and there’s some actual excitement. Sigh.
The fight started after Ryan poked fun at Ashalea eating a fourth serving of toast and cheese, and then began baiting her until she finally blew up at him. Huge issue mate, way to pick your battles. I won’t go into the whole thing here -why? Because instead you can read an excellent recap from BBBA’s vibes by clicking here.
Now for my two cents. Some of you might remember a while ago I commented on Ryan’s flash of temper when he spoke to Gretel one eviction night. You also might remember my comments regarding Knifegate. I think Ryan is a great bloke and everything, but that temper - it’s ice cold, and it’s always aimed at girls.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not calling him a potential wife basher or anything - I can only speculate about his temper because all I know of Ryan is what I’ve seen on screen. However, I have seen this kinda thing happen before in my own life - guys that are nice as pie to everyone, but when they do lose it, it’s always directed at a woman. They’re not evil incarnate, just rather insecure.
Again, I can only speculate, but from what I’ve seen Bree would not make a good match for Ryan because she’s got too much spunk of her own (fiestiness, you perverts, she doesn’t keep a collection of semen in jars or anything!). It doesn’t surprise me in the least that Ryan was attracted to Monica - not only was she physically his ideal, she was also the kind of trophy wife girl I’d imagine Ryan is looking for. Always agreeable? Sweet, subdued, obedient? The future Mrs Fer-ryzie!
It’s also telling that after all his arguments with Krystal and their obvious clash of personalities, he still selected her over girls he bonded with far more as one of his pick of housemates to date (Monica being the other). It might just be the fact she has marvellous tits, however I suspect it’s because at twenty seven he still fundementally thinks of women as objects, despite insisting he’s sensitive blah blah blah (cue Jeff Buckley quote).
Well, that’s just a few things that I’ve been thinking about since readeing about the fight, and I thought I might as well share will you. Ryan-fans, before you comment that Ryan is hilarious, remember - I don’t disagree with you. And I also don’t disagree with the fact that everyone has their faults and flashes of temper. It’s just…
a) I find it interesting that Ryan’s temper has never been directed at a male, not once.
b) I like to pretend I’m Carmel Hill in my spare time (in a completely unqualified sense).
PS: It’s worth noting that Ashalea may have hit the nail on the head when she told Ryan “This is why you don’t have a girlfriend, ‘cause you’re so fucking agro!”
Posted by Jess at 1:17 PM Link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)Monica Dumped!
According to Sydney Confidential, Monica has already been dumped by her hunky younger man. Gasp! Didn’t see that one coming! It would appear that Monica’s heartfelt conversations about Joe in between fondling sessions with Ryan just wasn’t enough to keep her boyfriend from ending things.
I can only hope that Big Brother somehow gets a message through to Monica letting her know there’s nothing to stop her giving Ryan a ‘rub n tug’ of her own before she gets booted on Sunday. One last chance for Uncut glory, Big Brother! Do something with it!
Meanwhile, according to the same article, Gretel showed some nip-nip on Wednesday night’s Uncut - I’m gutted I taped over the show! No wait, I’m not. Carry on.
Posted by Jess at 12:53 PM Link | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)July 8, 2004
Disappointed, Big Brother
Just a quick note about tonight’s daily show that I thought I’d sneak in before the eviction special. Last night on Up Late, Mike Goldman referred to Ryan having a hissyfit at Big Brother over failing the task and being asked to redo it. Unusual for Big Brother to put a negative spin on Ryan, don’t you think? And, after watching tonight’s footage, totally unreasonable.
What DID Big Brother expect the housemates to talk about? Why weren’t their revelations good enough for him? What, Kris - expecting some kinky sex stories you could use in the abysmal Uncut hour? Tough fucking luck.
As someone who went through a parents divorce and still carries a lot of baggage about it, I can appreciate how difficult it was for Trevor and Wesley to open up about their feelings regarding their parents, especially knowing that not only was it for the consumption of their fellow housemates but also the Australian public.
Ryan was absolutely right - what more did Big Brother want from them in that task? Blood? They did what you wanted. They passed the task fair and square. Just because you (and the vast majority of the Australian audience) have realised that this season of Big Brother has been a general disappointment does not give you the right to use food as a bargaining tool to gain gratuitous tales of their history so you can knock out a one hour special.
Bad form, Big Brother, bad form indeed. I’m extremely disappointed and yet not terribly surprised. Next time, don’t paint a housemate as a spoiled whinger when what they’re complaining about is a legitimate gripe towards Big Brother producers.
Later - Upon reflection, it probably wasn’t Trevor or Wesley’s fault the task wasn’t deemed as passable. I mean, as fascinating as stories of Ryan’s knee and football career are, I don’t think your indecision as to whether or not to go back to football was the biggest revelation you could give us, Fer-ryzie. Bless.
Posted by Jess at 7:22 PM Link | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)Catherine’s Revival?
Good lord, there’s been a complete turn around for Catherine on the Official Site’s popularity poll overnight. Perhaps yesterdays daily & Uncut shows, which displayed footage of her enjying a bit of a giggle and having some fun (in between the usual Monica & Ryan garbage), was enough to encourage fans to get behind her?
I can only speculate. What I do know is that her popularity jumped to 14% from 3% the day before by the early hours of this morning. This was at the expense of previous top dogs Fer-ryzie (knocked down to 12%), and to a lesser extent Trever (16%) and Paul (17%). Bree stayed steady at 22%.
The popularity poll figures have evened up as today wore on, with Bree still in the lead (23%), Trevor second (19%), Paul a close third (18%) and Ryan a little up (14%). Catherine’s steadied herself on 7% which is still a noticable improvement on her previous popularity poll results.
NB: All these figures are taken after viewing the results by day, not weekly or by series
Posted by Jess at 2:09 PM Link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)