September 28, 2005

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Politics + Kids = LITERARY GOLD

HEY NEO-CONS!

Looking for the perfect gift to give the little ‘uns this Christmas? Well, look no further! Thanks to the genius of two brilliantly talented right-wingers (Katharine “Hilary Clinton? Bitch, Please!” DeBrecht and Jim “Gunna Shoot Me Some Gays & Environmentalists This Weekend, Uh-huh” Hummel), there now exists the perfect children’s book to educate the youth of today on the evils of being a leftist.

Get your credit cards ready and check out “Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!”

This full-color illustrated book is a fun way for parents to teach young children the valuable lessons of conservatism. Written in simple text, readers can follow along with Tommy and Lou as they open a lemonade stand to earn money for a swing set. But when liberals start demanding that Tommy and Lou pay half their money in taxes, take down their picture of Jesus, and serve broccoli with every glass of lemonade, the young brothers experience the downside to living in Liberaland.
Goddamn Jesus-hating, broccoli-loving lefties! Praise the (conservative) Lord for this book, which will hopefully stop the kiddies from learning dangerous words like “tolerance”, “empathy” and “conservation” (a word that starts well - “conservati” - but ends with a dastardly “on”). And here’s what the publisher has to say!
Would you let your child read blatantly liberal stories with titles such as “King & King,” “No, George, No,” or “It’s Just a Plant”?
Hell no, not unless the aim was to have he or she grow up to be queer vegetarian tree-hugger!
Unless you live in Haight-Ashbury or write for the New York Times, probably not. But with the nation’s libraries and classrooms filled with overtly liberal children’s books advocating everything from gay marriage to marijuana use, kids everywhere are being deluged with left-wing propaganda.

And we all know how many children’s books there are out there giving props to marijuana use. “Spliff & The Magic Lighter” is probably one of the worst, but “My Friend Bong” certainly doesn’t help things.

ausculture.com hopes that an Australian version of this marvellous book becomes available sooner rather than later. Our beloved Prime Minister John Winston Howard would no doubt only be holding back on purchasing numerous copies of “Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!” in anticipation of his off-spring plopping out some right-wing sprogs due to the potentially confusing title.

Here’s to some enterprising soul scribbling educational and important works of Australian children’s literature like “Help! There’s An Asylum Seeker Blowing Up Mummy’s Car!” and “There’s A Bad Latham At The End Of This Book”.

Via the ever-wonderful Fop

Posted by Jess at September 28, 2005 06:15 PM
— Filed under Common

Comments
()

On September 28, 2005 07:23 PM, KL wrote:

I find it all very confusing, this thing with liberals and Liberals.

When I see that title I think it must be a leftie book saying “look out for Johnny under your bed!”

But in the US-of-frickin-A it seems that “liberal” is a bad thing, and is in fact the opposite of what we know as Liberal here.

Did our Liberals start out as liberals?

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On October 1, 2005 06:46 PM, political theory 101 wrote:
L/liberals

KL,

Big L ‘Liberals’ and little l ‘liberals’ both have their roots in the political doctine of ‘liberalism’, but have morphed in different directions…kinda like how funnel web spiders and little bunnies both grew out of single celled organisms…

Broadly, ‘liberalism’ refers to the idea of the essential freedom of the individual…

For little l US type liberals, this means, for example, the freedom to be lesbian/gay without suffereing any discrimination; the freedom to congregate in political protest or express subversive views without being beaten by pigs (or deported cf Scott Parkin), the autonomy to choose whether to indulge in the personal use of nice things like a little joint here and there etc.

For Big L John Howard type Liberals, ‘personal autonomy of the individual’ has come to refer (theoretically) to the idea that the State should play as small a role as possible in the lives of individuals, and let the economy sort everything out so - no Welfare like unemployment benefits, no public schools, no universal public health cover, no state owned assets like Telstra. Everything should be privatised and it is up to the individual to make it on their own - or not. The ironic thing is that this kind of Liberalsm is increasingly being combined with neo-conservatism - which often means MORE state control of individuals (eg work for the dole, new terrorism laws, anti gay laws, the war on drugs, Scott Parkin, strategies to get ‘politically correct’ ideology out of schools and universities, etc..)

So um…yeah.

ahem

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On September 28, 2005 07:37 PM, la nadine wrote:

GOLD!

now post again woman. perhaps something about the capital of chile.

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On September 28, 2005 08:22 PM, Fop wrote:

perhaps something about the capital of chile.

Bitch PLEASE…

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On September 29, 2005 11:30 AM, la nadine wrote:

oh no you didn’t just bitch please me, fop daddy.

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On September 28, 2005 11:22 PM, Buck Fudd wrote:

They’ll retitle it, “Help! Mummy! There are (non-sport related)Elites Under My Bed.”

So, Romper Room was axed when they realised what Mister “Doobie” (Hmm? Hmm?) was really up to with those kids - making them shoot up on mary jane and brainwashing them with communist multiculturalism! (“I can see Tran, and I can see Toula, etc”). No wonder those kids were so sedate.

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On October 5, 2005 05:34 PM, football betting wrote:

football betting football gambling football odds football sportsbook

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On September 29, 2005 12:44 PM, fishi wrote:

Lucky for the good ol US of A they’ve also got ‘multi-millionaire pastor Rick Warren’ smiting those pesky lib’s where they stand with some top notch slogans, in particular, ‘Athiests are Morans’ and one about faith healing that appears to require the healed one to be cuffed to a four poster bed.

http://www.truechristian.com/soldiersofgod.html

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On September 29, 2005 02:28 PM, fishi wrote:

Oh and you filthy, dirty, unclean, bleeding, husband soiling sluts should also read this,

http://www.truechristian.com/timeofmonth.html

commentReply to this

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