June 21, 2005

Every family has its prodigal son and its stoic worker and the newly expanded Logan family is no exception. Since the house was split into servants and masters yesterday, Tim has been adopted as the third brother in the Logan brothers family, demanding that he be referred to in future as Logan (Tim).

As the newest, and oldest, of the three Logan brothers, Tim is certainly taking advantage of his position of power. One of Greg’s major tasks since becoming Tim’s slave has been to warm the toilet seat before Tim goes to the bathroom.

Last night he had his servant running between the servant’s bedroom and the master’s bedroom with all kinds of crazy requests.

It started with the need to be tucked in with a bedtime story before he went to sleep. Logan (Greg) was particularly diligent, tucking his Master in tightly, before settling on the bed-head to tell him and his bedmate, Logan (David), a story.

Tim requested the story be about a young man with a slightly deformed but good chest who was aggressive and loud. Greg obliged, but was sent to the kitchen mid-story to get a stool so that Logan (Tim) and Logan (David) could see him and better understand the nuances of the tale.

When the story was over Tim commended Greg for his good work, then pondered whether he would have him sing him a song. He decided instead to have him fetch a snack from the kitchen and when he returned he dismissed him.

“I must now take the counsel of my fellow masters. Leave,” he said pointing to the door.

Greg had barely left the room when Tim called him back. He knocked before entering, as Tim had earlier instructed.

“Master Shearer needs to have a word to you,” Tim instructed. Glenn then made a rubbing motion with his hands. “It means kryptonite,” said Glenn as a laughing Greg left the room. “It’s a personal joke.”

Tim immediately called Greg back and asked for a refill of his water glass. When he returned with the water he asked Greg if the personal joke could be explained to the other masters.

“No,” said Greg. Tim pressed his buzzer to call Greg, who was still standing in front of him.

“Explain the personal joke,” he demanded. Greg started to tell the group that he and Glenn had been talking about things they liked to eat, but Tim interrupted him with the buzzer again.

“I think this story would be best delivered hopping on one leg,” he said.

“The other day we were out in the sun talking about what we liked to eat. I explained to shearer that I enjoy a couple of scoops of vanilla ice cream with chocolate crushed over the top,” he said making the same rubbing motion with his hands that Glenn had made earlier.

“This little enjoyment of mine grew into much larger scale and Glenn thought he had my kryptonite, my weakness,” Greg explained. “Is that all Tim?”

Unimpressed with the story, Tim pressed the buzzer again and said to Greg: “I need you to explain to the other servants that of the three Logan brothers you were loved least by the family, parents, sisters,” he said.

Greg went off to the servants quarters to make the announcement and received a round of clapping from a very impressed group of masters.

Later that night Tim summoned Greg again and asked him to sing for his fellow servants a round of ‘If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands’, loudly so the masters could hear. As he sang, the masters clapped loudly in the appropriate places, before settling down to sleep in their comfy double beds.