June 07, 2005
I HAVE JUST DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN
I completely forgot I did this.
Comment: I can’t tell you how please I am to see that you’ve initiated an online forum, which will hopefully rival the “web diaries” that run on other inferior news sites. Hate - for all things good and decent and Australian - simply radiates from those discussion boards. You, on the other hand, continually surprise and amaze me with your ability to keep your finger on the pulse of what’s really going on in Australian society. And through your column, I’ve learned that I am not flying solo during these windy times of change and disturbance. Your words comfort me, and almost everyone I know, because you talk of an Australia that we can believe in. Filthy lies about our nation are constantly being spread by Leftists. Conservative people, while traditionally not considered “trendy” by the vocal minority, are going to save this country from the muck-raking hands of the hippies and peaceniks, I can feel it in my bones. Friends, fellow Australians - let the family values-led revolution begin!
Andrew replies: Sounds a bit militant for me, Jess, but I appreciate your support.
Firstly, do you not love that Old Rice and I have totally put our differences behind us AND WE’VE BONDED?! Secondly, read the first word of each sentence.
I freely admit it, it was a quiet night and I am pathetically immature.
Also, because I always said I would admit it if he ever wrote something didn’t make me want to smash my head into a pile of dung repeatedly like some mentally deficient farmhand - he’s actually done alright with this article. Especially since it contains my most treasured of Bolty-favoured words - BARBARIANS!
Posted by Jess at June 7, 2005 03:01 AM— Filed under Common
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Won't Get Fooled Again...
...a song by The Who, and the first tune played on Brisbane's rad fm station 4zzz-FM thirty years ago. But it'll soon be Bolty's anthem. Maybe. Anyway, gotta love Ausculture Jess' work. ...
You're Going Soft You Bitch!
What the hell is going on?
Jess approves of a Bolt column?
I read somewhere that that was one of the seven signs of the apocalypse.
Duck and cover people!
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I found this piece very funny. Love the trick with the first words. You have really outdone yourself this time. And it’s great that Andrew wrote back. I thought that was neat. Want is such a desperate word. To be or not to be. Have - to have or have not. Your piece is right on the mark. Babies could not have written this better.
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You know, it took me a moment to realise what you were doing, you silly sweet thang x
Looks like I’m procreating with you AND Dave Murray… and you know what that means, don’t you?
MENAGE!
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So tempting, so tempting. I’m afraid I’m allergic to the name ‘Murray’. Long story and we don’t have 25 years.
Yet.
Jess, will you marry me and give me the 25 yrs I need to tell you my story about people named Murray?
Oh. I just read the above post.
Never mind.
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Jess, was this you?
http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,15547704%255E25717,00.html
(scroll down to post by “Riding”)
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Alas no, I am but an ignorant drop out so I never got involved in student unions at university. I’m also traumatised by reading the flirty exchange a few comments underneath the Riding one.
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Fuck, I’m stupid. I read that and just skimmed over the name “Jess Kullcher”. smacks head
That Bolt column wasn’t really out of the ordinary for Andrew - except the bit where he lists all these over-the-top quotes that were actually from his own paper. I’ve responded to it on BoltWatch.
ps Not a huge fan of this “having to wait before posting” malarkey…