May 16, 2005
Let’s Clear A Few Things Up
Media folk! You’ve got several things desperately wrong lately, and I’ve had enough. My biggest gripe with magazines\television in recent times is when they declare people to be the “break out star” of a new television show, and they PICK THE WRONG STAR! Surely it can’t be too difficult? A few examples for you.
Television Show - The OC
Break Out Star According To Media - Mischa Barton aka Marissa
Why This Is Wrong - Not only does Mischa Barton fail to run the gamut of emotion from A to B, her character - Marissa Cooper - is painfully irritating. The only time she has been remotely tolerable is when her tongue is sliding it’s way down the lovely Alex’s throat. Oh, and when she said referred to her parents as “a thief and a whore” but we’ll give credit for that to the scriptwriters.
The Actual Break Out Star! - Hmmm. If you’d asked me mid-first season, I would have said Adam Brody aka Seth Cohen. Funny and hot works for me! Then around the half way point of the first series, I might have claimed the wonderfully snappy Rachel Bilson (who plays Summer) deserved the kudos. But it’s clear to me now we’re a fair way in to Season Two that the real break out star is Melinda Clarke aka Julie Cooper. That woman knows how to deliver a goddamn line - just delicious.
Television Show - Desperate Housewives
Break Out Star According To Media - Teri Hatcher aka Susan
Why This Is Wrong - Look, I’m glad Teri is doing well, really I am. But Susan Mayer is just not that exciting a character. Teri’s doing an admirable job but…
The Actual Break Out Star! - Is OBVIOUSLY Marcia Cross, who plays Bree Van De Kamp. During the first episode, I feared she would just be a one dimensional Stepford Wives-esque character, but as time has gone on, the character has truly been fleshed out - and Marcia Cross is simply brilliant at portraying a rather complex character. She juggles anal retention, deep insecurity and steely inner strength with remarkable adeptness. Oh, and she got to say the best line of the show so far - “(deadpan) Yes, well - Rex cries after he ejaculates.”
And one bonus correction…
EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND - Not actually funny.
Dare I ask which corrections I forgot to address?
PS: Oh my god. When did I become Rob Fucking Lowing? What next - will I give Billy Madison only ONE FRICKIN STAR?
PPS: Just re-read and it’s worse than I thought - I’m Bruce “Special!” McAvaney !
Posted by Jess at May 16, 2005 11:43 PM— Filed under Common
Comments / Trackbacks (URI)
Everybody hates raymond ... well I do anyway
I didn’t think it possible to hate anything more than I hate children, then I watched an episode of Raymond. There’s half an hour of my life I’ll never get back. I can’t believe ANYONE can watch this show, it’s just two whiney people who don’t like two older whiney people and who have kids that only run up and down the stairs and a pretty much live in brother with a monotone voice … who the hell thought that was a good idea? I’d like to meet them, just to prove that I could pitch a much better idea. Mind you, they’ve probably since been sacked.
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OC
Is it just me or does anybody else think that its Summer who is truley the absolute incarnation of sheer hotness on the OC?
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Am I the only one who’s sick of seeing Eva Longoria’s (DH’s Gabrielle) breasts spread across every bloke’s magazine in the world, I get it, they’re nice love, now put them away before you get a chill!
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No, surely Bree’s best line has been “scrotums, I just don’t like them” or something in that style.
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rant and rave
Thank god they’ve canned that diabolical show “Raymond”. I’ve hated it for many an age, even the title screams hypocricy - how can everyone love Raymond if I don’t? How did Ray Romano get ten seasons and Shawn Micallef didn’t even get one?
And also, if Adam Brody is that wombat-eyed ,po-faced, bowl-haired git from the OC, than fie on you Jess! He’s a farce. The real star is Jim Robinson from Neighbours.
totally with you on desperate housewives. marcia, marcia, MARCIA. especially when she’s shooting stuff.
on the o.c. front, obviously mishca “look mummy, no fat” barton could be replaced by a cotton bud and noone would notice the difference.
i support the notion that melinda clarke is doing awesome work these days, and the darker do is working for her.
but i can’t betray my sethelah and his maideleh. they are just too wonderful. sigh.
snaps back to reality
blushes