May 09, 2005

The Live Surprise Show Tonight

Was simply superb. I was too captivated to make notes but judging from the Sent Messages from my mobile phone folder (something that’ll probably be used as a resource a fair bit on this blog), the Big Brother SMS Crew were especially thrilled by….

• Constance’s brilliantly pathetic display in the Diary room after being chosen to have her luggage removed from the house due to an impromptu election. Bawling her eyes out, a childish voice, threatening to not hand the housemates the keys to their luggage - squirmingly ace!
• Big Brother’s response to every plea for mercy - “……. No.”
• Kate Thatcher displaying early signs of her ornithophobia first thing in the morning. And as my partner in heckling-via-sms crime put it - “Nice jarmies, birdcunt”
• Gianna discussing her intellectual pursuits (presumably in between running the farm with the rest of McLeod’s Daugh - oh, okay, that joke is old already and I’ll abandon it). Did you know “appearances can be deceiving (thrusts tits out, gyrates crotch towards menfolk)” - she works with computers and did like, maths and physics and maths in high school!
• Thatcher chastising the lads for burping at the table. Iron Lady wannabe? Iron Spadger, more like! Needless to say, I don’t expect her to be getting any dancing doona action if she continues the chastising school marm act!
• Though in fairness, Nelson is a grubby, dirty little Liberal.
• Hotdogs Simon in bed with Michelle and initiating a cuddle with her while talking his kissing abilities up no end. Throughout the wooing, Gianna stood metres away with an expression that was an odd mix of fury, lust and realising you’ve just been hit with the gastro bug.

Throw in a twin swap which left Greg-Logan floundering room to room, looking petrified and unable to rely on basic hand-eye coordination because he was too scared to commit to being right or left-handed and all in all - everything Big Brother should have been last year. AND IT WAS ONLY THE FIRST DAY!

Posted by Jess at May 9, 2005 10:58 PM
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