February 21, 2005

Paris Hilton’s Mobile Phone

Thank you Ukelele - you are an absolute doll for giving me the heads up.

Paris Hilton recently lost her mobile phone - and thanks to the delightful Page Six Six Six, you can see a few of the hot, topless photos her phone contained - including a nice shot of her pashing a VJ for MTV Latin America… a girl DJ. Ooooer! Sapphic sexiness!

Added bonuses to Paris losing her mobile include

me being able to call Gael Garcia Bernal whenever I like! Or at least when he gets off the phone with Ukulele!
me being able to discuss the misery of acid reflux with Ashlee Simpson!
me being able to phone Anna Kournikova to chat about her stance on Enrique’s now-departed moley-mole!
me being able to call Lindsay Lohan and offer her some friendly, free advice - put some weight on and go back to being a hot sexy young mama with mad cans and a curvy body!

Yes, the possibilities are endless. Fun times for all!

Update I think I got it a little bit wrong - technology can confuse me sometimes, folks. Paris didn’t so much lose her phone as opposed to having her T-Mail account hacked into. Or something. Either way, this story is getting more and more interesting. And it’s surprisingly legit, at least according to these reports… and the FBI.

ausculture.com’s fascination in this latest Hilton saga isn’t just due to the saucy photos (although we love a good boozy shot) and the involvement of the spunky Gael. As you can see by clicking here, Paris had tonnes of celeb contacts - and quite a few you wouldn’t have expected her to have.

Hands up who imagined Paris being chummy with Fiona Apple? And is ‘Rumer’ the daughter of Demi? Is the ‘Sienna’ listed in the contacts the very same Sienna who recently got engaged to Jude Law? Is ‘Holly V’ actually Australia’s own Holly Valance? Will Adam Levine be angry if I email him and ask him what the point was behind the She Will Be Loved video clip? And who is the wonderfully monikered ‘Egplant dike ass’ ?

And don’t get me started on the complete mystery of her personal notes! Oh, alright then - let’s start by checking out this note from September 29th 2004.

And what conversation might that be bitch?
What do you think kristen
Did she learn her lesson?
Welsome back to gamma?
I think gamsy wants a little kiss
Its a gamma tradition
Gamsy is waiting

I refuse to believe that’s just random nonsense. It must be code, or something. In any case, it’s completely menacing, sort of like the voice over on that Fox 8 show where they discuss the scariest places on earth. Maybe Paris is creating some sort of Blair Witch-esque character for a potential movie or book? Yes! This would make perfect sense! It also explains why she has Stephen King’s phone number - he’s giving her advice on how to write horror books!

Okay, we explained that note away quite well. Good work, team. Now let’s see if we can decipher the next note…

Call gary shandlin get tape of everything

Well, I think the answer to this one is rather obvious. She’s shagged Gary Shandling and filmed it, but she’s not going to make the same mistake as last time, oh no! She’ll get the tapes off him and thus prevent any possible scandal! Hurrah Paris!

Tell ken about jess trying to bone JT

Ken could be… ummm… a nickname for Cameron Diaz? Or perhaps it’s Kenneth Branagh? Yes, that’s logical. Paris needs to tell Kenneth Branagh that Jessica Simpson is trying to bone Justin Timberlake.

I think we’ve all grown as people after that pointless activity. Let’s regroup tomorrow.

Posted by Jess at February 21, 2005 04:09 PM
— Filed under Common

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On February 21, 2005 04:13 PM, paulyt wrote:

Put some wait on?

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February 21, 2005

Paris Hilton’s Mobile Phone

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