November 25, 2004
If X Sexed Y…
So here’s our very first If X Sexed Why… I know what you’re thinking - “What the hell sort of concept is this, ausculture.com? What does it mean?” Allow me to explain it. Rest assured though, it’s as useless as you first imagined.
Basically, If X Sexed Y… is just another way of saying “If you crossed this with that…” or “If so-and-so and what’s his name reproduced, this would be the result…” For example, if Cherie Blair sexed Lucifer, the result would be Cosima DeVito. Or if a giraffe had a one night stand with a horse and a mysterious love child resulted from the union, the bastard offspring would be a camel. Get it? It’s really very simple! But we don’t have to stop at living organisms! According to the If X Sexed Why…, anything can reproduce with anything. Buildings, festivals, abstract ideas… there’s really just no stopping the sexing frenzy! Today we’ll start slow.
If Meg Ryan and Alanis Morissette had a hot Sapphic shag-fest, and by some miracle of St Ellen, they managed to conceive a child - said child would be Avril Lavigne. Below is all the evidence you need.
Stay tuned next week to see if we continue with this ridiculous idea!
Posted by Jess at November 25, 2004 07:31 PM— Filed under Common