November 18, 2004
“Does Big Kev Know It’s Christmas?” - Single Release!
Proving that no joke is too old or pointless and with Geldof-like speed and tenacity, ausculture.com have put together the Oz Band Aid single. It is utter tripe, but I’m mildly okay with it considering I wrote it after Neighbours tonight.
But no one would buy or download a single with just moi on it. C’mon, the Aussie’s have taste! So think of this mp3 as the skeleton of the real song - a song which every half-baked Aussie muso will rush to contribute to, since Big Kev’s plight is one that moves even the most hard-hearted Australian.
So feel free to download, mock and pass on to any celebrity friends you know. And remember, microphone bumps, heavy breathing and general other fuck ups just indicate passion, not sloppiness. See if you can spot the Bono moment too.
Together - we can help Big Kev out of his financial misery. Over 10% of all profits from the single will go to helping the former cleaning giant out of his business quagmire. The rest will be royalties going to me. Hey, I have to abide by industry standards! Trust me!
You can download the single by right clicking and saving here. Then start a letter writing campaign to every record company\management agency you know telling them to get musicians behind the song. Let us not forget our C-list celebrities in their time of need. That goes for Big Kev too.
Does Big Kev Know It’s Christmas?
Well the temperature’s rising
Cos summer’s finally here
But for one big hearted Queenslander
It’s the end of a career
He used to get excited
And wear Hawaiian shirts
Don’t forget to say a prayer for Kev
When you go to church…
Cos as the prawns cook on the barbie
On a blistering Christmas Day
And the blokes are playing cricket
Getting drunk and other cliches
There’s a tubby crying businessman
Dreaming of a better day
Does Big Kev know it’s Christmas any way?
Yeah does Big Kev know it’s Christmas
Does Big Kev know it’s here?
Is he lying in a backyard pool
Gettin’ drunk on XXXX beer?
While we share the day together
Spare a thought for Kev McQuay
His heart is freezing over
Though it’s forty degrees in the shade
While we are all out celebrating
Big Kev is still in pain
He used to be the guy we’d turn to
If our carpet was stained
But he’s lost all of his money
And the shareholders kicked him out
So let’s all get behind him
Cos Australia, it’s your shout!
Cos as the prawns cook on the barbie
On a blistering Christmas Day
And the blokes are playing cricket
Drinking beer and other cliches
There’s a tubby crying businessman
Dreaming of a better day
Does Big Kev know it’s Christmas any way?
Yeah does Big Kev know it’s Christmas
Does Big Kev know it’s here?
Is he lying in a backyard pool
Gettin’ drunk on XXXX beer?
While we share the day together
Spare a thought for Kev McQuay
His heart is freezing over
Though it’s forty degrees in the shade
— Filed under Common
Comments / Trackbacks (URI)
Are you saying I have no taste? I downloaded the election songs with just you on them. Thorpie said they tasted fully sick (just like Geoff Huegill0
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gold. GOLD. GOLD. GOLD.
if only i had some celebrity friends to pass it on to…
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As pure as a Big Kev cleaning product and without a hint of mockery to be found! I think you need to add “Feed me, world… Feed me until Christmas Time” vocals by Big Kev at the end though.
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*falls in love*
Fuck, I love your voice, Jess! Have you recorded any other stuff? The political songs and this are great, but you should seriously look into a music career. Your voice is beautiful!
I’m sounding a little bit like an ass-licker but fuck it…
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Jess!!!!! that was amazing!! I never thought Kev could inspire you so much, I agree with Random reader…you sounded fab, seriously, 2005 Aus Idol auditions perhaps??
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Beautifully done Ms Jess. I hope it kick starts the Oz Band Aid movement.
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Awww, you’re all adorable and lovely and sweet. I must remember that this is not all about me, but rather the superb cause that is Big Kev. But back to thanking you all - I hope you don’t mind if I steal parts of Roberto Benigni’s Oscar speech(es)!
“This is a moment of joy, and I want to kiss everybody. I feel like now, really, to dive in this ocean of generosity. This is a terrible mistake because I have used up all my English. I am not able to express all my gratitude. My body is in tumult… I would like to be Jupiter in the firmament… lying down and making love to everybody. This is something I cannot forget from the bottom of heart.”
I heart you all. xxx
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heheheh, so very funny. especially the bit where you doubled the vocal, it was so powerful, there was a tear in my eye.
btw - the cooks was mostly shite again last night. sorry oscar.
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Does Big Keb Kev Know It's Christmas?
Jess, you have a beautiful voice! You really should take up a career. and the song is hilarious! i know its mean, but Big Kev always scared me.
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Aren’t you adorable? Thank you very much. The general plan for world domination DOES include rocking the casbah music-wise, but we’ll have to wait and see if peeps respond to my whiney singer-songwriter shoe-gazing uber-serious acoustic sludge first. No one sings hardcore pain better than a Pisces! ROCK!
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GOLD!!!!!! (Thorpie thinks so too)