November 07, 2004

What Australian people listen to?

Always full of inspiration and original material - ausculture.com comment on the top selling albums in Australia from the past 10 years.

Here’s the list:

1. Come On Over (Shania Twain)
2. Jagged Little Pill (Alanis Morissette)
3. Innocent Eyes (Delta Goodrem)
4. Savage Garden (Savage Garden)
5. Falling Into You (Celine Dion)
6. Abba Gold (Abba)
7. Immaculate Collection (Madonna)
8. Recurring Dream (Crowded House)
9. Come Away With Me (Norah Jones)
10. Forgiven Not Forgotten (The Corrs)

That’s lovely. In order to show how excellently alterna-tastic ausculture.com is, I’ve decided to say something horribly negative about all of these releases. Bear with me while I try desperately (and fail miserably) to think of something both negative and witty about all of them.

Shania Twain - Come On Over: So she doesn’t wear a cowboy hat… this is still Country music. I can’t for the life of me understand why the Country Music Channel was on Australian cable tv for so long or why Australia has it’s own country music festival. Country music is the second most boring thing in the known universe - right behind clock dancing.

Alanis Morissette - Jagged Little Pill: Oh dear. It’s the leader of the “look I’m angsty too” brigade. I’d wager that the favorite movie of many Alanis fans is Reality Bites… and worse - only because their big sister liked it. Alanis should be punished for this release by being forced to study Jane Austin for ten years. At least then she might have a clue what irony is.

Delta Goodrem - Innocent Eyes: Just when I thought it was safe to have the radio on while I drive Delta has a new album. Can anyone say super-saturation? The whole Goodrem-Poo debacle only amplifies that.

Savage Garden - Savage Garden: I can picture it now… countless 14-year-old girls arriving home from their ninth viewing of Titanic and singing the words “I want to stand with you on a moutain.” At least half the copies of this gem would now be floating in the “Peter Andre” box of shit-releases that those same 14-year-olds (now all grown up) have under their beds.

Celine Dion - Falling Into You: It’s Celine Dion, ‘nough said.

Abba - Abba Gold: I blame Abba for Ace of Base.

Madonna - Immaculate Collection: If Madonna ever had any credibility it vanished without a trace when she, as a ninety-year-old, pashed Britney “Not a girl, not yet a woman… but always a dirty…” Spears and recorded that god-awful song.

Crowded House - Recurring Dream: Music for uncool people who wished they were cool. Don’t deny it.

Norah Jones - Come Away With Me: I’m all out of spite… Any takers?

The Corrs - Forgiven Not Forgotten: As above. Anyone?

If anyone wants to know, my music collection consists mostly of John Cage cd’s so I’m uber-alternative and hence am fully qualified to trash everyones favorite music.

Posted by Patrick at November 7, 2004 10:32 PM
— Filed under Common

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