November 05, 2004
Random Friday Thoughts
Should Random Friday Thoughts become a new ausculture.com tradition, a la the sporadic News Wraps? Probably not, it’s a bit crap. However, it certainly caters for my lazy side, that’s for sure.
1 - An update for the millions thousands hundreds dozen two of you out there who were quite concerned about the possibility I could be sleeping in a gutter next weekend due to a lease ending and no replacement home on the horizon - a new abode has been confirmed for this little ausculture.com writer. I wish it could be ausculture.com Official Headquarters but Patrick’s all “No way am I wearing a gimp mask and living in a small box under your bed, only coming out to be taken for walks for fortnightly or fix technical glitches!” He’s such a diva sometimes.
2 - When did sixteen year old school girls begin looking like thirty year old hookers dressed up as sixteen year old school girls? It’s not as though I’ve been purposefully looking at young ladies in uniform all the time (no, really!), but at various bus stops on the way to work I’ve observed that the skirts are getting dramatically shorter, applying eye-liner has become a fundamental part of every teenage girl’s morning ritual, and some of the fake-tanned, bleached heads on these students cause them to resemble Gold Coast divorcees rather than pubescent scholars. I blame Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen. Just because I can.
3 - I’d like to introduce another new ausculture.com feature! Well, only because it’s now tradition. Also, someone needs inspiration for their novel. We’ll delve into that at a later date.
Only bothered to watch two minutes of The Cooks last night which is so like me, cos I’m a News Ltd reporter!. It was enough to assure me it’s still completely shithouse, just like any other Aussie production. I would have watched the whole thing in order to laugh at it in a condescending fashion but I was too busy watching CSI: Miami on video and planning my next firebomb attack on Roving Enterprises. My sister also thinks it’s shithouse, but this is because our mother regularly injected Anti-Local Television Production medication into her swollen belly when we were in utero.
Cough. Well, now that half-arsed, tiresome and rather daft attempt at a joke is over, let’s move on.
4 - This has given me the biggest laugh I’ve had all day.
MAB: Hello Jenny. This is Miranda Airey-Branson from Two Cents calling. How are you?
JM: Good thanks. Where are you calling from again?
MAB: From Two Cents, the current affairs weblog.
Way to have an overblown sense of your own importance! The current affairs weblog! Of course! Before it became the fashionable place for lefties to go and point virtual fingers and chortle at the dipshit conservatives, it was the place for current affairs! Pure hilarium. I’m sorry to ask again, but are we sure these guys aren’t a comedy troupe? We are? Oh.
Posted by Jess at November 5, 2004 01:09 PM— Filed under Common
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Aw, come on, don’t be so harsh. She meant “current affairs”, the type that has quotes around it and is commonly found on Today Tonight. “Current Affairs”, as in “what transpired on Dance With The Stars” and “Annorexia: The New Lifestyle Choice”.
Unless it was a typo and May-Bee was attempting to indicate Two Cents’ new fetish with sultanas.
And, can I say, Two Cents is a very poignant name. It is a monetary denomination that no longer has any relevance, it derives from a phrase commonly used to forward innane commentry and is about what the three contributors are worth collectively at current market rates. Still, I suppose they are worth 260 Dongs.
You can see what value the site has by the ads that Google decides are relevant.
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congratulations on finding a new home Jessie. However, your negative view on a gutter is a little disappointing as your home is always what you make it. I think you should always keep the gutter option open
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Yes, home will be what I make it… and you lads will bow down and worship me, the Domestic Goddess of Syd-er-ney!
“Domestic” in the sense I arrange for the other house mates to do the cooking\cleaning\etc.
So nothing much will change!
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shame you live in sydney, coz i’m in need of new flatmates. and you pretty much fit my requirements. oh well, good luck finding a new place.
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I can stay at your place after the blog-grogging party ;)
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Let me just say, no-one collects rent on the gutter…
‘Skanky ho’ is now hip. Or maybe you’re jest gettin’ old, Jess :)
Are we alluding to NanoWriMo here ?
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Which means I could almost afford to move there. Almost.
I dare say this new-found popularity is directly related to Latham’s spiel at Albrechtsen.
We are indeed.
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There are gutter time-share arrangements commonly.
Tell us more! Ooh! Ooh! Mr Kotter !! (showing my age)
I signed up myself as have been “trying” to write for a few years and thought it might lend impetus…but forget on Nov 1 of course :P
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There are gutter time-share arrangements commonly.
Tell us more! Ooh! Ooh! Mr Kotter !! (showing my age)
I signed up myself as have been “trying” to write for a few years and thought it might lend impetus…but forget on Nov 1 of course :P
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Mmm, you could do a not so Random Friday Thoughts on what happened on Neighbours this week, for those of us in the boondocks with no access to Australian network television.
Do you have Craig’s list over there? Thought this was funny: http://newyork.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/47785163.html
You should challenge some Liberal to a dual to the death, or maybe to a pie eating contest and who can hog-tie a calf the fastest. Or maybe all three, but not in the order which I suggested, seeing how it’d be difficult to eat pie once you’re dead and all…don’t even get me started on how it’d be impossible for the hog tying of the calf…whew, that’s a WHOLE ‘nother issue.
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The thing I particularly liked is the way she said ‘I’m MAB, from Two Cents’ as if anyone would have an idea what Two Cents was! I still maintain she should have said ‘Hi, I’m MAB, the two-bit hooker with an overblown sense of self-importance who likes to take it on the chin’ (for more, see RYWHM). Tee hee hee. Glad to hear you have found a new home.