July 02, 2004
Mark Holden - A Biography
Mark Holden was born in Adelaide in 1954. According to some sources, he may have at one point had some kind of credible pop star career. Rumour has it that Mark’s signature suave move was to hand out carnations to ladies in the audience whilst warbling on stage. It is for this reason many bikers from the older generation refer to him as “That carnation cunt”. In any case, we’re sure it worked a treat on the ladies and resulted in a plethora of women’s underwear being aimed at him on stage.
Some of Mark’s many career highlights include two hit albums and winning the TV Week King Of Pop award for best newcomer in 1976. And as everyone knows, TV Week readers have exceptional taste.
Mark was reponsible for inflicting Vanessa Amorosi on the Australian public after hearing her perform at a restaurant, and a verdict from the War Crimes Tribunal is expected any day now.
Mark became famous during Australian Idol for uttering complete shite instead of giving any useful feedback whatsoever. Nonsensical statements like “Bada bing, bada boom” and “touchdown” were thrown around, whilst his “Go the fro!” statement unfortunately became part of the Aussie vernacular as Idol’s popularity hit fever pitch.
Mark is generally considered a bit of a knob, according to recent polls never conducted, but he ruins it by being very good humoured about it which makes it hard to resent the man. On his website, he has launched a campaign to receive a trophy for winning Ralph Magazine’s Wanker Of The Year award, and was so pleased to be garnering some attention (good or bad) that both Ralph and Merrick & Rosso became rapidly disinterested in humouring him. God bless him for trying.
Finally, it should be noted that many theorists out there think Mark might not be all that bad a bloke, and his displays of fuckwitism on last year’s Idol program were mostly due to nerves over having to speak on camera. Who knows, perhaps he felt insecure without having a carnation to hold onto? In any case, viewers can only hope his feuds with Dicko carry on to this year’s Idol production and provide us with some entertaining moments.
Posted by Jess at July 2, 2004 11:16 AM— Filed under Part of the ausculture.com Idol 2004 Blogfest.
Comments / Trackbacks (URI)
I love love love LOVE it when I come to a website and find out that a bitter flamefest has already been fought, particularly when most of the people taking part speak like they’re sending SMSes with their eyes closed.
Jess, I thank you for attracting these people to your site. Best laugh I’ve had since Duncan’s homepage.
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Truly an honour, Scottie my dear!
To tell you the truth, my original pose as Dicko was meant to be a sarcastic response to people asking me questions AS THOUGH I were Dicko. Next thing I know, there’s a new question nearly every day! Even I, lover of shit stirring, got mildly bored of it by the end and simply stopped responding.
My favourite part was when we admitted (even though it was obvious) that the whole thing was a joke AND THE QUESTIONS CONTINUED! Hilarious stuff!
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Yes I agree with you ‘Scottie’it is very exciting to log on to a chat room and see a bitch fight has already started before a convestaion has already happened. ‘Jess’ I am very proud of you for setting up this website. You must be on an extremely expensive internet plan, as you are writing novel-worthy comments on here virtually all the time. Yes, I did acsess this site through a very controversal search engine, Have a Nice Day.com. It has been closed no though, as i have been monitoring your conversations on the Ian Dickson page. Very interesting I must say.
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Wow, you’re right ‘Paul’ - that is interesting! It’s all so interesting! You know what else is interesting? Your IP address is exactly the same as Laura’s!
Isn’t that interesting? And possibly controversial, like Have a Nice Day.com?
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ok. Yes, I was bored.
GO BRISBANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lsat night
bit disspointed by some of the performances lat night. I waas shit bored during Martys fucking performance. He sucks! Anthony is normally good and the only hot guy on the whole fucking show! I didn’t like him last night though. Sometimes those judges piss the hell out of me! what was their problem last night? i thought Chanel was pretty good and they were just bagging her up. Dicko is so hot for Chanel, when are they going to get it on? Marty you are going tonight.
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You realise Anthony is a 3 foot tall midget?
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hmmm...
Jess u r a fuking pric
and by the way that was a MALE friend using a FEMALE friends email re the he loves u comment, u 2 would go well 2gether as u r both completely PSYCHO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, but I’m not illiterate. Woo!
Zing!!