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April 30, 2006

“I Use My Body To Get What I Want…” | BB06

“… and I want oats!”

“A housemate trade? Can I trade someone for oats?

“The oats? Is that a ‘no’?”

Welcome to Oatsgate, kids. Anna won’t make the bread because all the housemates won’t join her in sacrificing something in order to get oats, Krystal’s gonna lay the smackdown on her if she doesn’t start motherfucking baking quick sticks, and Michael is left to explain the housemate’s perspective on Anna’s need for oats…

JESUS CHRIST, WHEN IS UNCUT ON PLEASE?

PS: I am alive, obviously, and my beloved chum Nic has free wireless floating in her loungeroom so here’s some unexpected and utterly pointless BB blogging for you. As for the flooding of the house - I awoke to find my mother standing on the patch of sopping carpet* in my bedroom. She raised an eyebrow, sarcastically asked “Felt like a bath last night, eh?”, glanced around at the twenty seven damp towels hanging from various bits of furniture… and then finished with “So, come visit me at work for a coffee!” and skipped out merrily.

WHO IS THIS WOMAN AND WHY WAS SHE ABSENT THROUGHOUT MY ADORABLY MISCHIEVOUS TEEN YEARS?

*That sounds a bit rude, doesn’t it? OH GROW UP.