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April 28, 2006

Ausculture’s Gay Theory | BB06

Hey kids,

As promised, I’m banging out a special post to inform you of the latest - and probably INCREDIBLY CORRECT - theory that’s been floating around Ausculture HQ and the MBBS for the last two days.

The Big Brother advertising campaign before the season started made a lot of statements like “This year, there’ll be a world first.” and “Two of the housemates share the same secret.” Then Gretel eventually arrived on our tvs and confirmed in a smug manner that “everything Big Brother told you… was true.”

So we are to assume that every mysterious statement was utterly correct in its specific detail, yes?

The World First - although the kids on the messageboards are up in arms over the “world first” because they reckon it’s been done before, Big Brother has repeatedly used the words “World First” to describe the Karen\Krystal Mother\Daughter situation, thus we can safely tick the World First box on our list of Things To Wait For.

Now everyone’s appeared to have also used the Karen\Krystal thing to tick off the Two Of The Housemates Share The Same Secret box… BUT WHAT IF THAT’S NOT IT!?

We all know David’s had a secret. Big Brother has gone out of it’s way to push the “poor old David and the secret burden HE IS CARRYING ALONE” but guess what, folks?

We reckon there’s another gay in the house. Someone who is yet to announce their sexuality to anyone, someone David doesn’t even know about. This time Big Brother won’t be making it obvious from the start but rather plans on surprising the audience when the news comes out, so to speak.

What do you reckon? Do you agree with Ausculture’s Gay Theory? The MBBS have certainly jumped on board and the general consensus (as you may have guessed from the previous Ukulele-penned guest post) is that it’s Jamie.

I THINK DAVID AND JAMIE WOULD MAKE A BEAUTIFUL COUPLE. Until David leaves the house and chooses The Love That Dares To Shout Its Name In An Irritating Manner Quite A Bit, Actually.

PS: Thanks to Housemate Karen who was the person who initially raised the Two People With Secrets\Dave’s Not The Only Gay theory to me the other night.

Posted by Jess at April 28, 2006 3:41 PM
— Filed under Common

Comments

good theory. what if karen was the other gay person? she keeps saying she broke up with her partner of 16 years not her boyfriend or husband and if they were together for only 16 years its obviously not krystals other parent

i had that thought too, bec.

but the idea of david and jamie starring in 'brokeback brother' is too exciting to not hope for.

not that jamie liking manlove means that him him and david will get together of course.

i just hope that happens, that's all.

It will so happen with Jamie and David. Did you SEE he way Jamie was doing 'sex eyes' in david's direction after the announcement??? And did you hear them talking in the bathroom. Katie said 'I've kissed girls' and THEN Jamie goes' I've kissed a boy too'. WHY HAS NOBODY MENTIONED THIS??? They are so going to indulge in manlove (as la nadine puts it)!!!!!

A very good piece of detective work there. And of course there will be those who try to maintain the Lone GayMan Theory, but WHAT ABOUT THE GRASSY KNOLL?

We can rule out the second shooter being Gaelan, I think, since there's no way a male could grow up in Australia with a name like that and not have it severely rammed into his conscious and subconscious mind that Gay = Bad. I pity his schoolyard years (if years themselves can be pitied).

I visited the BB06 website to refresh my memory on the potential candidates (I haven't watched much yet this year) and had my first experience of "who the Sam Hill is that?" for the season. I remember an early series where the eventual winner only seemed to appear onscreen for the first time about halfway through the series. So can someone please tell me who Ashley is and why my brain can obviously not store his onscreen image in my memory? Apparently his party trick is "Flicking Bottle Caps".

Sounds like quite the entertainer.

Ashley seems alright, bit of a typical yobbo bricklayer, doesnt seem to have alot too him so far but he may turn out good. its true of all the winners, none are very noticable in the begining. Jamie and david hooking up would be great, but if jamie is gay and trying to hide it why would he admit to kissing boys. and one last time what happenedto the housemate who didnt enter the house, who are they? any ideas?

I have been thinking about this and I think one of the intruders will be David's perfect match. I think the producers are hoping for a complete Brokeback scenario so the gay intruder will also be absolutely hot and outdoorsy and there will be foreworks between them(without Michelle Williams forwning inthebackground).

shouldnt be too hard, dave has gone on enough about what his perfect match would be like, maybe he's hinting cos he knows.

Ahh I heard the David's Perfect Match rumour too. It'd be brilliant viewing although one imagines the Family First team won't be thrilled about Uncut episodes if those damn Calamites get it AWWNNNNNN in the house.

Big Ted Dancin'? You rule. I shall be home soon and continue the edumacation of you regarding this year's housemates.

Now if you'll excuse me, my mother and I are off to meet family friends (and La Nadine) at the trots. AND WE'RE GONNA ENJOY A FIFTY DOLLAR BUFFET.

Try not to get tooooo envious. And tell me what happened in the Daily Show, I insist!

I concurED: Due to commenting thingos I don't understand, linking appears to not work too well. Copy and paste this , motherchuckers...http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=2599471&view=findpost&p=5074590

I reckon Michael has been studying Jon Tickle (Big Brother UK a couple of years back). A lot of similarities.

David's man might not be Jamie, but there will be Brokeback Mountin' before the season is over. How could they resist?

y0, i am jamie's best mate, went into lockdown with him before the show etc. been friends since 93. anywho, enough about me, onto the subject...

jamie is not gay at all. infact, that boy can't get enough of the girls. he is a modern day casanova. David is going to have to remain a lonely heart. so yeah, time to think of a new theory lads and ladesses

Gillo. Please continue to watch, aghast, as Jamie gets a leg over Brokeback styles. I've only known him 5 minutes but fancy I already know him better than you do.

hey fluffy, you don't know your arsehole from your face. i'm also a mate of jamies and he's not gay.

Jamie went into lock down with another man? CLEARLY HOMOSEXUAL.

Jamie can't get enough of the ladies, must be compensating. CLEARLY HOMOSEXUAL.

Jamie's (alleged) mates getting their back up over internet chatter? OMG HOMOS!!!!

dear bowzie, jamie seems to have a lot of male friends doesn't he. did you all go camping a lot? xx

Make it so! Oh please, make it so!

Oh dear Jess... could this theory of yours end up being the next Slinkee Minx debacle - with you, ausculture readers and I getting death threats from "brothers" and "friends" of Jamie?

Wheres DJMax when you need him!?

Oh dear Jess... could this theory of yours end up being the next Slinkee Minx debacle - with you, ausculture readers and I getting death threats from "brothers" and "friends" of Jamie?

Wheres DJMax when you need him!?

Oh goodness me, can I not even run off and worship at the temple of Gamblor for a few hours with my dear mum without fisticuffs ensuing online?

Jamie pals - if you swear, SWEAR TO GOD, that the man is not gay and he only stuck it in once, just a little way in, then that's good enough for me. I think Gen wants to marry him anyways so it's probably for the best.

That said, Jamie choosing not to smoke pole recreationally doesn't affect the legitimacy of the gay theory - it just means it might not be HIM.

Fluffy does INDEED know her arsehole from her face. And a lovely face it is.

The rest of you cheeky commenters - hahahaha, way to "stir the pot" amongst Jamie's crew.

Bowzer, Gillo - tell us more about Jamie. CONVINCE ME TO GIVE HIM MY LOVE AND SUPPORT.

PS: Confirmed by Sydney peeps that Michael is a spankstain.

Was ther any hint from BB about a genuine planted mole in the house? Was that ever a rumour? Oh actually thats no secret, it's on Karens face. Why would you spend $10000 on a boob job, with such a facial abberation distracting peoples attention every time you talk to them, show some compassion wench. M-M-Maybe after years of telling herself it was nothing, she actually beleives it.

QUOTE - "Why would you spend $10000 on a boob job, with such a facial abberation distracting peoples attention every time you talk to them,"

Cause when she and Krystal do their centrefolds no one will be looking at her face. LOL.

They got the boob-jobs done after they knew they were getting into the house. I think it will be money well spent - an investment so to speak. ;)

fluffyski, sorry to break it to you again, not gay. And as for taking in males into lockdown, there are a number of reasons. firstly, you were not a loud to take in a sexual partner, probably for std's. plus imagine not being to escape for a week if you took in a female, full on.

keep up the posts, very entertaining, everyone gets so angry, "AHH GILLO, I KNOW HIM MORE THAN YOU, haha"

so you won't me to tell you more about him, someone said, so you can love him more? terrific, i'll tell you a few things at a time. he's awesome at bass. and running far, as well as lifting really heavy things.

gillo you spelt allowed wrong, you are so cool.

sensational

Hi evey-one! My names Jolie. Read you all and think you're all grrrrrr8!! Here's what I'm thinking....get ready! Karen (hippy my arse) is one big LESBO!! And I hope she does leave, she just spoils the kids in the house's fun, get her out BB!!! She is ruining the show!! I'm interested how Krystal acts without her, think about it!!! Jaime now personal trainer hmm explains the gr8 body and his gr8 love of himself, the way he talks, I'm starting to get used to, but boy did it piss me off, like Katie's voice too, though it stills annoys me.Tone it down girl

Hi Guy's. The names Jolie. 1:Karen is a LESBO! 2:Reminder Jaime is a personal trainer which explains his gr8 body & his gr8 love of himself. (not gay) 3:BB will bring in a gay cowboy for silly Davy, who can't stop playing wiv his boys,hurry BB!! 4:Keep on Anna Dino, you may be what keeps her in longer, these 2 will do defly do it. 5:It was only the boobs that kept Michael's attn Krystal. GIRL you've got alot to learn. And with a lesbian mother, how is she gonna learn about boys and boobs? 6:Miss 'thinks she knows it all' Tilli Krystal's sidekick. "Oh yeah I was teased at school","Oh Elise poor baby are you alright?""Oh Johnny I will teach you all about the pill, that's a good boy!!" She irritates me! And ruins moments between people. 7:Katie proclaimed virgin (hmmm?), can't talk to att've guys, yeaaah right, hello Jaime!!! Share a bed even!!! Notice her behaviour around wolfman Ash! Is it fear? Shit it's true his eyes man he does stare, check out the colour wooo baby!Gr8 eyes! He's definately got my eyes on him. GO THE WOLF MAN!!! Good rel'ship forming between him Elise and Davey. Back Off Camilla esp if theres a full moon!! ARRRROOOOW!!! 8:16th Housemate who didn't enter Gina, 28,NSW, Media designer,withdrew last min had glandular fever in lockdown. JOLIE OVER AND OUT