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November 1, 2004

Mark Holden Talks Idol

Bada boom ba to the max times a schizzly biddy bear! What a fandango of a night! Many of you guadelopey pine nutters out there would know that I ain’t been feeling young Hayley’s mojo galactica for a while now. For some fellatio McHappy Meal reason, Dicky-Dick-Dick-Dickson and Mar-sha-la-la Hinesypoo have been ooophing the power of the Hailstorm hootenany, but me? Shooby, dudettes.

So imagine how scrumdiddilyumptious I felt when the votitos resulted in Hayley’s Comet shooting out of our atmosphere and bang doobeywacker seven to the universe of Never Never Land. Shizzle!

Casey, Casey, Casey…

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What can I say?

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No, seriously, what can I say?

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Umm…

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She got the flow to the mojo risin’ of love, and I am so relieving the Mint Slicey goodness of her sticking to her guns and rising to the cream of the Clapton.

My man Courtney… bang bang! My baby shot me down! Eat a donut, add the three and power it to the maximum capacity of ordinary and you got a NASA equivelent of rock to the loo my darlin’! Fantastic.

On the money train, heading to Idol central is Choo Choo Calea, tooting and cruising along at momentous speed in a whirlwind of wah wah nee. He’s gonna sell records, man! Sell them like hotcakes of love on a cold day in Vladivostok for a cheap price, dude, and a free IPod - love is in the house, for midgety bum-knuckles and musical fistings with extra lube. Can’t wait to release the talulah belle album we laid down like cable in the deep seas of the studio before Idol - I knew flowing the loco washing machine in Cold Power would make me a minty fresh tea!

So dawgs, that’s all of the ding dally douche duck I can tell you on the straight low down curve ball. Wanksta franksta, Sinatra-fueled big band bam and what have you got?

TOUCHDOWN!

Love and carnations,

Mark Holden xxx

Wow, everybody - let’s give it up to Mark Holden for displaying the same amount of marvellous insight he shows each week on Australian Idol. We’re truly honoured. And incredibly confused.