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September 21, 2004

We suck, but at least we’re punny

I think with that headline I have reached shiteness nirvana.

Anyway, I’m not referring specifically to this site but instead to what I see today as I trawl the local online Australian newspapers.

First of all, the headline from The Age entitled - “Police fear a new killer - headphones” - is a bit daft: Kids have been endangering their lives for… ages with those things. Worse than that is the expert opinion in that article from psychologist and teenage behavioural expert Michael Carr-Gregg. Michael tells us that

Almost all my patients, before they come to see me as an adolescent psychologist, are listening to some music or other.

You’re a genius Michael. When can I book in for a session?

[I should mention that I find Christie Arias’ death a real tragedy, what I’m looking at is the media coverage… not the event.]

Next up is the article Two years’ water left at news.com.au. To save you reading it I’ll sum it up for you in one sentence.

If it doesn’t rain, then we won’t have any water.

That makes sense. Anyway, apart from telling doomed Sydney-siders how much water is left — the article contains one fantastic quote in:

The Weather Bureau forecasts there is only a 50 per cent chance of Sydney receiving its average rainfall levels by the end of this year.

Which is the BOM’s way of saying “we don’t have a clue.”

Last up is what must undoubtedly be the headline of the week. This one comes from this article in The Australian:

First-time woes for Virgin offshoot

That, I say, is pure genius.

Posted by Patrick at September 21, 2004 1:12 AM
— Filed under Common