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September 8, 2004

Hassle The Hoff, Move Over

There’s a new comedy MC in town… that’s right, folks - according to the ever-reliable thesun.co.uk, Harold Bishop’s alter ego Ian Smith is planning on releasing his very own hip hop single in an attempt to reach the #1 spot over Christmas in the English charts. Oddly reminiscent of Love Actually, isn’t it?

Speaking of Neighbours, we haven’t yet mentioned the big Delta Return to the series. Now that she’s come home, I can suddenly recall the fact that Nina Tucker was the most boring character ever. I know, I know - comments like that are considered sacrilegious ever since Delta fell ill with you know what but it’s true nonetheless.

And Nina II is even more ridiculous than shy, musically-gifted Connor-loving Nina! Within 40 seconds of being at Jack Scully’s door, out pops a gem of a line like “Sounds like one of my movies, except without the wet sari…” Erm… is that kinda like a wet t-shirt competition? Are the Neighbours scriptwriters trying to insinuate that Nina’s been over in Mumbai filming soft porn?

As for the burgeoning De Generes plot line, well - lately I’ve begun noticing a lesbionic crush developing between Sky Mangel and Libby Kennedy. Personally, I think Libby would be a better choice for Sky than the slightly unbalanced Canuck they have waiting in the wings for her muff-diving pleasure. After all, she’s single, randy and has no qualms about taking the odd high school student to bed. Is the Sky-Libby Crush plot line actually deliberate or is it something my slightly disturbed household has created in our perverted little minds?