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August 15, 2004

Post-Idol Semi Final II Recap

Let’s jump straight into it, shall we?

Yasmine began tonight’s proceedings with the Diet Coke theme song (did I make that up or was it part of an ad campaign at one time?) “Free” by Ultra Nate. It was a vintage Young Talent Time performance - full of random toothy grins and bopping that would have made Johnny Young proud. Especially irksome for me was the cheesy pause inserted in the chorus ie: “You’re freeeeee… to do what you wa…… nna do!”. Mark began a new technique in his judging - a lot of “ummm… ahh… sheeeeez…” to compliment his awkward and slightly constipated face, which was to indicate that whatever he said next was not going to be positive and it absolutely pained him to say it. He thought Yasmine’s performance was too “cabaret” (a word he’s going to overuse a lot this year, methinks) and she shouted the lyrics. Marcia, probably feeling bad about the “shut your legs, slut!” comment at the Seymour Centre, went a more positive angle, telling Yasmine that she’d done a good job with the song. Dicko then told Yasmine that her performance had shown exactly why she didn’t make it into the Top Thirty in the first place, and informed her that while she has bucket loads of enthusiasm, she lacks any class whatsoever. Gutted! Yasmine’s become rather infamous in the competition and has certainly earned a fair bit of screen time so perhaps that’ll get her through to the next round.

Next up was Marcia’s boyfriend Gabriel singing a lacklustre version of George Michael’s “Careless Whisper” and confirming my opinion that he’s mightily over-rated. He seemed to inherit Jamie Oliver’s tongue for the performance. Dicko was spot on when he told Gabriel his rendition drifted towards karaoke, and the whole thing lacked spark.

Chloe followed on with a Norah Jones song called “‘Turn Me On”. My god, she really is Sophie Monk, isn’t she? I thought she sang it well but it didn’t do all that much for me. Perhaps I was too distracted with the Monk connection but I could certainly see her performing at Movie World. Still, it was a good effort I suppose and she’s attractive enough to possibly gain votes so the end may not be nigh for young Chloe. Mark did the “Awww… geeeeeez…” build up once more, and yet again labelled the performance “cabaret”, Dicko thought her clothing (funky rock chick, or something) and the tune (a torch song) clashed and this would confuse the audience. Marcia complimented her performance though, and hissed a surly “Jesus!” in the direction of her fellow judges.

Angie Narayan’s choice of an Aretha song (“Chain Of Fools”) was well-suited, and went over a treat with the judges. Mark advised her to join up with Paul Mac or Mr Timothy (pardon my ignorance, but who?) and begin churning out the hits, Marcia gave it two thumbs up and Dicko called her a “big sexy mamma”. Kudos all round then. I thought the performance was good, but wasn’t entirely sold on the shirt. Still, it’s not Fashion Idol now is it, so all in all a great effort by Angie.

Barry “Dolly’s Most Dateable Guy 2004” Southgate then had his chance to shine. Barry chose to sing Joe Cocker’s “Up Where We Belong” and I am afraid to say the entire thing was a total yawn-fest. He’s beautiful to look at, certainly, but he really is a poor man’s Guy Sebastian vocally. There was just no energy in his performance and he was so stationary in the beginning, I began to wonder if those naughty imps James and Andrew G had glued his feet to the ground. While Marcia loves her men to be “serene”, it just doesn’t cut it for me. Perhaps it’s for the best - Barry Southgate sounds less like an Australian Idol and more like an English football player.

Following on was Tara, who decided to sing “My Immortal” by Evanescence. I thought she did okay with it (though she looked a little sour) but to be honest, I dislike the song in general so it was hard for me to tell if she was doing a reasonable version of a crap, whiney song or if she was doing a crap, whiney version of a crap, whiney song. Mark pulled out another “Ummm… sheeeeez…” and informed Tara that her song choice just didn’t cut the mustard with him. Dicko thought she could have sung it better (it needed more “fire and passion”) but Marcia again jumped in to save the day, telling Tara that she sang the song incredibly well. True or False: Tara is Dannii Minogue and Lisa-Marie Presley’s bastard lesbian love child?

I didn’t even know Adrian Hood existed until Thursday’s Inside Idol show, so I was mighty interested to hear how he’d sound, especially since his former claim to fame was apparently being in a boy band (anyone know what they were called?) He sang Usher’s “Burn” and while I think he sang it rather well, I am biased against the song since Usher is a smug little cunt. Mark wasn’t overly impressed but at least he didn’t label Adrian as “cabaret”. Dicko and Marcia, on the other hand, lapped it up and Dicko even went as far as to tell Adrian he was going “from strength to strength”. My big criticism? Those trousers were distractingly horrible. A serious case of Old Man Pants Syndrome, and they made him look like a slightly podgy uni student. Has Gretel’s stylist moved over to Idol? Sort out the slacks, son, and we’ll talk.

Liza sang a song I’d never heard before called “You Put A Move On My Heart” and did a fairly good job of it. Still no fireworks performance-wise, but I think she has some potential once she cuts loose a bit. Marcia apparently loves Liza’s personality, and thought she pulled off a difficult song whilst Dicko was concerned that Liza’s song choice was rather dodgy. Mark uttered something about fashion and “taking off” but again, at least he held back on cabaret references.

And now to one of the more interesting performances of the night - Daniel Belle’s second attempt at pop. Daniel sang “Rock DJ” in an attempt to keep the judges off his back about being too classical in his style. As soon as the song started and Daniel began rapping, I knew we were entering dangerous territory. Robbie Williams’ rapping is amusingly dodgy at best, but a white Aussie guy imitating a white English guy imitating a rapper was just too hilarious. It was not the best of performances, granted, but nonetheless I still felt a bit of affection towards Daniel for giving it a bash. Dicko, however, did not. Summing the performance up as “Ned Flanders sings Robbie Williams” (so harsh and yet so true!), Dicko was utterly horrified by what he had witnessed. Mark jumped on the bandwagon, enforcing a ban on all “George Michael and Robbie Williams” songs in an effort to win Dicko’s heart. Meanwhile, Marcia attempted to comfort Daniel by proclaiming she was impressed with his ability to hit the high notes effortlessly. But Marcia - the rap! THE RAP! Daniel was absolutely livid, and suddenly became a much more interesting individual. After all, it WAS Dicko who encouraged him to follow the pop route, and Daniel was understandably confused as to what the judges actually wanted from him. My advice? Daniel would do well singing classic rock song\ballads, and steering away from obvious pop. Especially pop with rap bits. He has got a good voice, and I do like him for some reason, but really - tonight’s performance was worthy of winning the Castle Hill Tavern’s karaoke competition, not Australian Idol. Still, I did enjoy Daniel’s sudden manly surliness and his flash of temper turned the show from being rather bland into something worth watching. I’d be very interested to see what Daniel does next, should he make it through to the next part of the competition.

Finally, Amali Ward hit the stage. Amali underwhelmed me at her original audition, but she’s gone from strength to strength since getting through. She’s cute, she’s funny (really, how great was that “incest” call at the Seymour Centre?!?!) and she has got a good voice. Tonight she sang a Joss Stone song called “Some Kind Of Wonderful” and although it was a restrained performance, I thought she was effortlessly good. Very calm, very confident, and very likable. Once she gets a little fire in her belly, I think we’ll start seeing her “take off” as Mark Holden puts it.

So my top three performers of the night (and this may not be based on actually good performances - confusing, I know) would go as follows…

1. Amali Ward
2. Angie Narayan
3. Daniel Belle (horribly brilliant performance!)