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July 26, 2004

Tony Abbott’s Smokey Past

Ahh, you’ve gotta love the Liberal Party - Canberra’s best unintentional comedy troupe. First piece of evidence? John Howard’s eyebrows. Second piece of evidence? The Liberal Party contains two politicians named Abbott & Costello. Third piece of evidence? Their knee-slappingly retro approach to morality.

Whilst Labor leaders Gough Whitlam, Paul Keating and Mark Latham were occasionally hilarious due to intentional use of wit, the Liberals have always upstaged their less conservative parliamentary pals through straight-faced satire. At least, we hope that’s the case.

The latest comedy gag from the Government? A rib-tickling piss-take of Bill Clinton by champagne comedy giant Tony Abbott. Most of us would remember when Bill “Is That A Cigar In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me” Clinton admitted in 1992 to trying marijuana, but assuring the public that he “didn’t inhale”.

In response to Opposition Leader Mark Latham’s recent acknowledgement that he had tried (and inhaled, no less) cannabis, Tony Abbott decided to also jump aboard the metaphorical Stoner Express in an effort to arrive at Streetwise Central just ahead of the Federal election and admitted to having smoked the reefer back in his wild and crazy student days - although he too claims to have “not inhaled” (boom boom!). Presumably, he found time to experiment with pot in between starting arguments, making racist comments, indulging in sexist conduct and revelling in homophobic behaviour. What a character!

Naturally, members of the public are curious as to why Federal politicians are clambering over themselves to admit to smoking pot - thankfully, ausculture.com have the answer. Two words - Shannon Noll. After witnessing the public’s warm response to the Australian Idol runner up’s “I ‘took’ pot when I was younger!” revelation, our nation’s political parties have realised just what a gem a past drug habit can be when it comes to popularity polls.

Abbott isn’t the only Liberal party member to admit to a less-than-angelic past. Peter Costello has acknowledged that during a holiday to Manchester during 1988’s “Second Summer Of Love” he licked an ecstasy tablet - but did not swallow - and Bronwyn Bishop is expected to announce shortly that during the “heroin chic” days of the early 1990’s, she gingerly brushed a syringe against her arm but did not plunge.

Posted by Jess at July 26, 2004 11:37 AM
— Filed under Common , Politics