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July 23, 2004

Ryan’s Shock Eviction

I can honestly say I wasn’t expecting Ryan to leave tonight. I had hoped he would, but I didn’t expect it. Why had I hoped he would leave? Nothing to do with him being a particularly bad bloke, but like with most other viewers, the MLS t-shirt scandal left a bad taste in my mouth, and Big Brother’s favouritism through out the series was so irritating I’ve spent the last few weeks especially hoping that voters would upset the metaphorical Big Brother producer’s apple cart.

Ryan’s eviction tonight means that nothing is certain - even the most adamant of anti-Ryan viewers out there probably wouldn’t have guessed Fryzie’s eviction was imminent - and more than ever, it proves that Bree is back in the game. At the very least, she’s in with a chance and one I didn’t anticipate.

After Ryan’s named was called out, he ran outside and uttered something like “Gonna go see my boys!” I wouldn’t be too thrilled with them if I were you, mate - they’re almost solely responsible with losing you a million dollars and their absence from the stage tonight was a noticeable reaction to the “MLS scandal” that has rocked fan forums and gossip columns over the past two weeks.

Where did the MLS gang go wrong? After all, their friend was arguably the most popular housemate in the series, he was the odds on favourite to win the entire show, and in a matter of weeks, without knowing anything at all about it, he’s ended up out on his arse, not even making it to the final three.

I’d say things started to go wrong for the MLS campaign the second his friends got too egotistical about their involvement. Each time they appeared on an eviction show, they appeared more and more smug. Then news of the MLS shirts began appearing on the internet. Ryan’s mates created a website where they apparently announced they’d targeted Catherine and were using the funds to vote her out - a post which was reportedly removed after it garnered too many complaints.

A fine example of the arrogant approach Ryan’s MLS buddies used -

Throw in a couple of photos of people who aren’t Ryan and an option to email people who aren’t Ryan, and you begin to wonder whether the MLS crew think they’re a whole lot more interesting to the Australian public than they really are. There is one MLS member who has captured the publics imagination - and the public can view him on Channel Ten, thanks all the same.

Finally, the mainstream media caught on to the MLS tshirt = votes story, Centrebet cancelled it’s Big Brother betting due to suspicion of dodgy dealings, and suddenly Ryan went from being considered a ‘top Aussie bloke’ to being associated with something unfair and sneaky. Against the rules? Perhaps not. But most certainly against the unspoken rules of the games, especially where it counts - in the eyes of the shows fans.

Once Ryan had joined Gretel on stage, we were treated to some footage of him being the “mediator”. I must admit I’d forgotten it was Ryan who broke up the Paul & Merlin fight so well all those weeks ago, and it was one of his finer moments.

Soon afterwards though, Ryan’s joy at being Ryan started becoming overly apparent. Watching him on the bottom right corner of the screen as he was treated to video clips of his time in the house, it was slightly off-putting to see him yell “Fer-ryzie!” affectionately at the screen while watching shots of himself. His biggest compliment for Bree? “She’s the female version of Fryzie.”

The audience seemed somewhat cool towards him. His attempt at using some catch-phrases seemed to crash and burn, his “I’m a massive loser” gag getting a mere uncomfortable snicker from the crowd. During the interview with Gretel, you could almost hear the audience groaning under their breath every time the phrases “I’ll give you the hot tip”, “Massive”, “Deplorable” and “You’re joooking me!” were used.

The sad part is that Ryan may not have known of his mates entrepreneurial skills regarding the MLS shirts, but because of his friends (in particular, that one idiot with the funny looking head who turned up to loads of eviction shows wearing a green MLS shirt and a cocky smile) desire to claw their way to second-hand fame - the fifteen minute variety, no less - he’ll always be associated with dicey dealings.

MLS isn’t the only reason he was evicted though. Making one girl cry can be enough to get you voted out of most reality shows - five of them is pushing it a fair bit. A romance with a girl who has a boyfriend never does you much good, and murdering Jeff Buckley lyrics so the rest of us can’t listen to Grace again for at least a year is an even greater sin… at least in my eyes.

Finally, Ryan can thank Big Brother producers, whose sledgehammer approach to editing the shows in order to keep Ryan popular eventually alienated the shows genuine fans - even if the “massive” audience of mindless teenage girls managed to remain oblivious and faithful to the MLS cause for so long.

Au revoir, Fryzie - you were essentially a good bloke and despite the fact various bumblings resulted in you missing out on a million, I’m sure that Channel Ten sports presenter contract you signed before entering will sort you out moolah wise. Bless.

PS: Unfortunate choice of photo on the official site, don’t you think? He looks quite literally like a window licker.

Gretel Clothing Summary! No red, stripes or dots - but a necklace was prominent! As for the hair, well - dreadlocks? Honestly Gretel, what did you do to the stylist to make her resent you so much? You looked liked some Nimbin hippy’s corporate spinster twin!