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July 19, 2004

More Cross-Promotion In The House

Ryan and the MLS t-shirt promotion “scandal” has given ausculture.com - and it’s readers - plenty of room for thought. One of those readers, epicurus, has written an amusing little article about other possible cross-promotions we could have seen in the house. Bravo!

If The Playing Field Was Level

• a special report by reader epicurus
  
  IGOR would have a deal brokered with Holden before entering the house. He would be the new “Face of Monaro” for 2004, with a television advertising campaign running simultaneously with his time in the house. Monaros would be used on eviction night, and Igor would wear Holden T’shirts and be allowed to make “vroom vroom” noises every time there was a live cross. As with all housemates, a percentage of profits would go towards the strategic voting kitty.

APHRODITE would have a special deal with the manufacturers of Valium. Every time she went into a fit of hysterical rage or tears, she’d pop a pill in the diary room and come up all smiles. There would be cross promotion at several private psychiatric hospitals.

BREE would have an album of dance/pop remixes released during the first week of the show. She would have music videos on high rotation on Video Hits and a cross promotion deal with Australian Idol.

ASHALEA would have a range of pink apparel available exclusively through Supre. Plus a deal with KFC. Every Wednesday “family dinner” would be KFC, of course. Ashalea’s advertising campaign would be dual - both KFC spots and Supre ads.

KRYSTAL would have several “artistic” magazine shoots released onto newspaper shelves at crucial times during the series. An “instructional lovemaking video” would be released at a strategic time.

WESLEY would be sponsored by the Liberal Party and would be the face of the Medicare campaign. John Howard would imply that Melanie Howard and Wesley were “courting”. Wesley would bring up the topic of “That Latham Goon” every single family dinner.

TERRI would have a sponsorship deal with Adultshop.com. A highlight of live crosses would be “Terri’s Dildo of the week”.