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May 17, 2004

Songs I Perhaps Shouldn’t Like But I Actually Do

And I’m Listening To Them Right Now…

Oh sure, they’re not the coolest collection of tunes. You might not find them on some uber-trendy New York bands Rage playlist. But they will make MY playlist because I love them, and not in that Macquarie University student ironic way either.

Meatloaf - Bat Out Of Hell.
I really, really love this song. I don’t know exactly why - perhaps it’s the overblown theatrics of the whole thing, perhaps it’s the cheesy sound of the motorbike starting up after the sensitive chorus bit. In any case, the whole “And like a sinner before the gates of heaven, I’ll come crawling on back to you” bit gave me goosebumps once. And I wasn’t drunk.

Melissa - Read My Lips
I take the piss out of this song, but I still listen to it loads. So I have concluded I actually do like this song in a lame eighties (or worse - early nineties) way, and the whole “If you wanna wait till later, hands off my detonator” hilarium is just a bonus.

Bon Jovi - Lay Your Hands On Me
Pure. Cock. That’s Jon taken care of, meanwhile this song is Pure. Cock. Rock. I had never heard this tune before until about 2 months ago, so perhaps it’s appeal will wear off soon. In the meantime, I love it - the overblown guitar solos, the stadium anthem appeal of the chorus, everything. I think Jon Bon Jovi is a cunt for being completely arsey about The Darkness in Britain’s Now magazine a few months ago but then, I don’t like anything Bon Jovi have said or done since 1993. I think when they started waxing Jon’s chest, they took away his sense of fun.

Journey - Don’t Stop Believing
Where has this song been hiding all my life?! I first heard it during the flick Monster, where it played as Charlize and Christina gazed into each other’s eyes at some sad roller disco and realised they wanted to rub each other’s naughty parts. Excellent. I’m surprised I never heard this before considering my sisters (who are a decade older than me and thus eighties teenagers) were huuuuge Journey fans. In fact, there is a brilliant photo of my sis (I won’t say which one in case I am beaten to death), permed mullet fluffed to perfection and wearing a hideous Ken Done-esque oversized jumper, sitting next to her state of the art record AND tape player with seven Journey tapes placed on top and making a thumbs up sign with the cheesiest grin ever. I would scan it but again, I’d be in more trouble than Toadie is with Rocco! This is obviously well before my sisters became cool and glamorous and gorgeous. And single, lads!

Rod Stewart - Rhythm Of My Heart
Flashback five years to me, eighteen, dreaming of boozing it up in London and forced to work as a Franklins check out chick in order to earn enough to achieve this goal. The only song I liked on the terrible Franklins FM (instore radio) was this one - it’s sea shanty vibe, complete with bag pipes and Rod at his very best, mean you can’t go past this cracker of a tune. I am also quite partial to Rod’s “The Motown Song”. Many people would think that Rod is about as Motown as Craig McLachlan, but they’d be wrong - he can get down and soulful with the best of ‘em.

Dave Dobbyn - Slice Of Heaven
What a glorious piece of music Slice OF Heaven is! As close to a Kiwi anthem as you can get, I reckon. If there’s one thing better than a “nah nah nah” chorus bit, it’s a “BAH nah nah” chorus bit! It’s a rollickingly good song, and I am unashamed when it comes to loving it so. Bloody fun to play on the guitar too.

Belinda Carlisle - Runaway Horses
I am a Belinda fan full stop - I could have easily chosen Leave A Light On (George Harrison guitar solo!), Summer Rain, Heaven Is A Place On Earth or The Same Thing, I think Belinda is completely ace. But I chose Runaway Horses because it has horse galloping sounds that build up to the last killer chorus - horse sounds! Cos it’s called Runaway Horses, see? This makes the song brilliant for aural consumption while driving, because you can making galloping sounds by banging your hands on the dashboard! I have no life…

The Divinyls - I Touch Myself
Chrissie Amphlett at her very best. For a while I wasn’t sure if I preferred this or Ain’t Gonna Eat Out My Heart Anymore, but I’m going for this one cos Chrissie simulates an orgasm, and it’s brilliantly over the top. I also didn’t “get” this song for years (I was young and naïve) so I have fond memories of when the Buffy gang discussed it.

Leonard Nimoy - If I Had A Hammer
Well, it’s Leonard Nimoy, isn’t it?